The whole point of life is to live the way you want to.
Not to be overly concerned with fitting in.
Not to try to be what other people think you should be.
And most certainly not to allow your current experiences to sway you from following your heart.
You want a brighter tomorrow, to live free of pressure, to be in control of your own life, to be unafraid. And living a trouble free live would be a huge bonus.
Yet we can’t live the way we want to whilst we are:
Slaves to outer circumstance
Too often we let outer circumstances determine our thoughts and if we keep on thinking the same thoughts and having similar events happen we’re just going round and round in circles.
We can’t change anything hanging onto the thoughts and feelings that got us here in the first place. If we’re to keep expanding and moving forward, we have to be willing to let go.
No matter what’s happened up until now or how far we’ve come down our current path, we can still stop and look around and choose to walk a new path. We don’t have to be victims of our past.
Our past is only a story we play out in our mind. Maybe it’s time to write a new one and we can begin by:
Dissolving disappointments
Something happens. We judge, we interpret, we add our feelings. Someone doesn’t follow through on their promise, or commitment. That’s the plain fact of the matter. So what do we do? We add our story to the facts, add our feelings to why it happened.
We don’t really know the why, so we make assumptions. Maybe they don’t respect me. Maybe they don’t care about me. Maybe they’re going to cheat me. It’s all just a story we made up.
If we just view it as an event, an event that stemmed from some belief or old conditioned habit that’s still churning in our subconscious mind, then there’s no energy given to it. Events and experiences are simply that, it’s our thinking or feeling that gives them meaning.
Practice the technique of doing nothing
It’s a surprisingly creative power.
As Winnie the Pooh said: Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear and not bothering.
There are times when the right action is actually no action. At least no outer action.
Not taking action, but sitting in the silence can lead to surprising and sometimes unusual answers.
To really let go of the past, we have to let go of past ideas.
It’s time to open our heart to answers that we haven’t been able to hear because of anxiety or fear or busyness.
Try turning to the quiet and just allow yourself to be and watch inspiration and creativity flow.
Overcome helplessness
We feel helpless when we’re disconnected from our higher self.
Within each of us is the power and wisdom of the world, but there are times when it’s challenging to remember that. Challenging to feel that.
But imagine, if you knew…really, really, really knew that you were connected to a higher power, the very same consciousness and power that created the universe, and it had your back at all times. How would you feel then?
I was working on something really important, under a time crunch, when my screen went black. I clicked, I tried turning on and off, I tried every trick in the book, nothing happened. It was frustrating, and yes I was feeling helpless. Aaargh.
I called in the big guns. No, not the genius or geek bar; I called in my darling one, despite the fact that he knows less about computers than I do. I told you I was feeling helpless.
Have you checked the connection he said. I hadn’t. I did. He was right. The source of my helplessness was right there in the shape of a loose connection.
We have unlimited power at our disposal and sometimes just being aware of this is enough to reset our connection. Your higher self always knows what to do, even when we don’t. Why not listen when it speaks. Take time each day to make sure you don’t have a loose connection.
Wake up
There’s so much to do in this life, so many places to go, so much to experience, so much to get. But all our doing, getting, going is totally dependent on who we’re being.
It’s our being that is the magnetic power in our world. We are filled with incredible, dazzling energy and we waste our supply with negative emotions. We’re out of milk for the cereal or tea, we get upset over a spilled cup of something.
We’ve begun to lose some vital power.
We wear ourselves out by getting angry because of something someone did or said, we worry over some issue at home. More loss.
Instead of losing our vital energy on the things that have gone wrong, that don’t work, that hurt or wound. Instead of believing that the source of happiness lies out there.
Stop.
Turn within to the true source of all power and begin to develop your connection with it.
Change the agreement
Circumstances can only affect you if you let them.
As you develop your inner being your awareness and understanding of the power you hold and your understanding that thoughts are real forces in the world, you realize the power to make or mar your life belongs to you and you alone.
If we keep believing that the power lies in our outer world of experiences then we are no more than slaves to all events and things that happen to us.
We invest them with a power they simply don’t have. And we keep on experiencing joy or sadness, fear or hope, weakness or strength all dependent on what’s happening in our outer world.
Make your inner development your priority
Begin by first practicing self-appreciation. It’s time we practiced gentleness with ourselves. We are so harsh, so critical of who we are and far too often we beat ourselves up when something doesn’t work out quite as we intended.
Are you perfect? Unlikely. But you are incredibly beautiful and gifted and have much to offer the world.
Within each of us is a capacity to turn our attention, our thoughts, our consciousness…whatever you want to call this inner invisible world…towards whatever we’d like to experience, and have it manifest in our world.
We have a current agreement with reality, given to us by whatever tribe we landed in on our arrival here. They told us what we could do, what would work, what wouldn’t and we accepted it as the only way.
Begin to nourish yourself and open your heart to others, to see the amazing capacity you have and how much more you can do. Recognize your capacity for love and compassion for all.
Developing the practice of loving yourself and others turns your inner spark into a blaze.
As your inner self is developed there dawns a new life. A life lived on your terms, one of loving kindness and acceptance for all. A life with less troubles and more joy.
By learning to use our mind properly we’ll soon start seeing changes and my question today is for all of you.
I know there are many, who’ve learned to use their minds in a better way and have wonderful stories to share, would you please add your voice to the conversation?
A lot more could be said on this subject and I can’t cover it all in one post, so I’d love to hear from you.
You inspire me.
As always, thanks for reading and sharing and taking the time to leave your fabulous insights. What you say may very well spark a breakthrough for someone who really needs it.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
Elle-
Terrific offerings but the one that really struck me is ‘DO NOTHING’. If more people would practice this, how much kinder and more loving our lives would be ~ Unfortunately in our culture, we equate doing nothing as ‘lazy and ‘non-productive’ – when in fact it’s not at all. Hope you’re feeling better. xxoo-Fran
Hi Fran, isn’t that the truth, we’re all pretty much conditioned that we have to be ‘doers’ rather than ‘beings’. But our beingness is the source of our life experiences and probably the most productive thing we can pay attention to. Great take on it Fran and yes thank you I’m a bit more awake today than I was yesterday! 🙂
Hi Elle,
Waking up to the realisation that if you sit on your butt doing nothing … then that’s what you will get> Life is for living, exploring, engaging & learning. Go do it!
Be good to yourself
David
Hi David, nice to have you stop by. I think the hardest thing for man to do is to sit quietly. As Pascal said “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
Don’t you think we confuse doing nothing as being the same as sitting quietly, contemplating, or imagining? 🙂
Hello Thanks for your posts. I can tell that you have struggled with these issues yourself and now you are sharing your journey with us. I tend to take responsibility for things that aren’t my fault and that i really have no way to make happen or to avoid them from happening. It has also been pointed out to me that I refrain from spending money on myself because i worry about the what ifs too much. To combat this i am actually making a list of the things I plan to buy the next time i receive a commission for selling someone’s amusement concessions or confessions equipment. smile new clothes and shoes are on my list as thanks to having gastric surgery i don’t have much in the way of a wardrobe. thanks for sharing and take care, max
Hi Max, you are such a mover and shaker in your world. Love that about you. As for me, like all of us my life is a patchwork of events all of which have molded me into the person I am today. Some much much better, some much worse and certainly I wouldn’t have deliberately chosen them. But the thing is we learn and grow and test new ideas and concepts till we find what works in our life.
I’ve found that being aware of the connection between most events in my life and what’s in my own consciousness to be a hugely liberating and empowering idea that I can use to shape and form what comes next in my life. 🙂
Hi Elle; You are so right our conscious thoughts about ourselves and the world around us are definitely tied to the results we find in our daily lives. Our outlook positive or negative will influence events far more than we realize. I have noticed that as I have grown in the last few years and become more positive and abundance minded opportunities have come to me and people have entered my life. Even a bad experience like not getting paid a commission earlier this year hasn’t crushed me because i looked for the positives that came out of it including meeting a gentleman from a ride manufacturer that has asked me to help represent their products in the u s. i get a little sad then a little mad and then a lot what am i supposed to learn from this and how am i intended to benefit. thanks for the great post and take care, max
Hi Elle,
What a wonderful post! So aptly conceived and presented.It’s truly soothing for the soul.each of your seven ideas is worth its weight in “spiritual growth”.
About your bullet on “Change the agreement”,i guess it relates to how we view our conflicts and problems.
Fretting about the problem, and the problem alone is no good either. Obsession with the problem ,to the exclusion of everything else,is a fixation with regress.It takes you backward.Not forward.
Solutions ,on the other hand transport you to the future.They are the milestones on the shimmering road to progress.
It often happens that a few of us are so taken up with stewing about problems that we continue our ranting even after it has been solved.It is like throwing away the banana and cursing the peel for being there in the first place.It is a subtle sign of dis-empowerment.
Thanks
Mona
Hi Mona, your words always strike a poetic chord in my heart. I’m always appreciative of your perspective on life and how you operate in it and grateful for your encouragement too. 🙂
It’s time we practiced gentleness with ourselves. Boy, is that the truth. Are we not our own worst critics?
Yes we are Linda…we’re so much tougher on ourselves. We’d never be that cruel to another being, it’s time for us just to be kind. 🙂
“Developing the practice of loving yourself and others turns your inner spark into a blaze”… I love that, Elle, and that is so much the truth.
Glad you enjoyed it Cher…my mission in life is a simple one…encourage. 🙂
This is so well said, Elle! And there’s so much of a treasure trove here! “Do nothing” – Yes! I love all of these tips, but that one stood out as something that so many of us need to hear more of!
I know it’s a hard thing for us to do Jessica – nothing. It seems we’re so conditioned to ‘doing’ we forget that the most important thing is our being. 🙂
This post really hit me, it’s expressed what has been going on in my mind for a while now. I’ve kind of come to a crossroads in my life. In the last 3 years, I’ve lost my 18 year old daughter in a car accident, gotten divorced, ending an unhappy relationship, and found a new love who I’ve asked to marry me. But, my career seems to have stalled, and I find myself wondering where do I go from here? Does money and a stable career mean more than doing something good and exciting with my life? I’ve felt helpless, and a slave to my existence. I’m looking for clarity, and where do I go from here, which is what led me to your site. I want to live a life of excellence, and to me it means being in the moment, being someone who has integrity and the love of those around me.
Steve
I love your idea of living a life of excellence Steve. Congrats. It seems that you’ve chosen the new path at your crossroads. 🙂