Happy Couple in Sunglasses having fun on the Beach. Summer Vacat

[success]Success is not determined by the outcome. The outcome is the result of having already decided that you are successful to begin with. ~ T.F. Hodge[/success]

You’re always changing; it can’t be stopped, it can’t be helped. Use it as an incentive to have the best today possible and make a difference for tomorrow. You’re far better than you give yourself credit for. Don’t end up being much less than you might be because you’re constantly upset by external events. Your experiences aren’t what hurt you, your judgement of them does, and you have the power to wipe out judgements.

If  success keeps slipping through your fingers, remember that sometimes it’s necessary to take a look at the circumstances of life and discover the wisdom within each event.

Stop looking at your life passively, as though it’s something that happens to you. You are the determining factor. You can transform your life beyond your wildest dreams by taking steps to learn and practice the life principles used by the most successful among us.

Here’s 7 actionable steps to create results that stick.

1. Learn to say no

Concentrate on the things that really matter and say no to everything else.  If you have to say no 1,000 times that’s okay. Stay on track, keep focused on what’s important to you. And always remember the beginning is the most important part of any project.

Say no to procrastination. Take responsibility for your life by deciding what it’s really all about for you and prioritize your days around that. Never let your current reality stop you from moving forward.

2. Keep looking, and stop settling

So you haven’t found the ideal job, the ideal partner, the ideal home, the ideal anything. Don’t be stopped keep looking. Don’t settle for less than you deserve. It’s amazing how hard we make it on ourselves. Don’t second guess. You’ll know when it turns up and if you stop seeking you’ll never find it.

You have the ability to experience anything, be anything, overcome anything. Stop working so hard. There’s a strong pull of desire already working on your behalf. Your job is to stay out of it’s way.

Don’t numb out your awareness of what it is you really want. Don’t discount your preferences or you’ll never realize what’s possible for you.

3. Forget about managing time – it can’t be done

Time favors no one. Today simply says it’s up to you how you use me. Learn to value each moment. No matter your age, hang on to that sense of urgency that was so prevalent as a teenager and allow it to drive you into action. Take the time today has to offer and use it well; take chances, say yes to opportunities.

Use your time to understand what you’re here to do and then do it with passion and purpose. It’s time to honour yourself for being you.

Learn to manage yourself and manage your tasks. At the end of each day write down what you choose to accomplish tomorrow. And when tomorrow arrives…just do it.

4. Learn to grab the magic of flow

Flow occurs only in the now. So you must learn to engage your attention on the present…not the day ahead or the things that are happening all around, but on what you need to do this moment. Practice living in the now. Don’t let your thoughts drift off toward concerns about the past. Don’t worry about the future. Set aside time to imagine your future, but live in the magic of now for the rest of the time.

Flow is that enchanted space where your greatest strengths show up, where you’re attention narrows down to just a moment and the past and future fade away, taking with them yesterday’s regrets or today’s worries.

Flow won’t stay with you every moment of every day. Ordinarily it arrives unexpectedly, never staying permanently, showing up when least expected. Grab it when it visits.

5. Take a little help from your friends

Most people want a fulfilled life. It’s not always easy to pursue fulfillment, and to do it despite circumstances, the opinions all around you, offering bad advice and contrary agendas, and especially despite your own inner critic. Choose fulfillment anyway.

Spend time with those who encourage you, or find ways to encourage yourself.  We all need encouragement to keep us on track to a life fully lived. Believe it’s possible for you to live a life that you value, a life without regret. Whatever results you achieve, the true satisfaction will be that at the end of the day, you have lived life more fully.

When the going gets hard, stick with those who’ll cheer you on as you develop yourself.

6. Don’t blame circumstances for results that don’t stick

Your beliefs lead you to make decisions about what’s valuable for you to do. Each day you’re choosing what’s valuable for you. Is it starting the day at 5 each morning, or staying in bed till mid-day? Or something in between.

One thing for sure, the beliefs you have are directing you towards inevitable success or inconvenient failure. What happens in your life is determined by the decisions you make, not about the circumstances you encounter.

There’s only one person responsible for the quality of your relationships, the level of your health, the state of your income, the way you feel; everything. You know that person is you. To achieve the results you want and make them stick, you must assume 100% responsibility for your life. Nothing less is good enough for you.

7. Learn to remove the biggest block to successful, lasting results

remove-blocksWhat you think determines your beliefs; what you believe influences the choices you make which defines who you are and what you’re likely to attract and experience in life.

Your life shows the world who you are. It’s yours to make and remake as you see fit. You’re the only one in control. Remember, if you’re not getting results that stick, if you’re not happy where your previous decisions have led, then it’s time to go back to the beginning. The thoughts you constantly think.

You are totally in control of what you think. No-one can think for you. You are totally in control of the images you hold in your mind. No one can hold their images in your mind. You are totally in control of the decisions you make, and the way you behave.

Be willing to practice any one of these steps, and the domino effect begins. Be brave, the biggest difference between those who succeed and those who struggle the most is the courage to make a change in thinking. You’ll begin to see every experience, even those that challenge and discourage, as a chance for greater advancement in life.

What are you willing to do to stop success slipping through your fingers? Share in the comments below. You might very well have the answer someone is waiting to hear. 

THANK YOU so much for reading. Please, share this article on your favourite social networks. Every share, like or tweet helps us reach more people who need practical encouragement in their lives. We all truly appreciate you!

Encourage one another

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. This is so true, Elle: “Your experiences aren’t what hurt you, your judgement of them does, and you have the power to wipe out judgements.” This is what I’m working with right now. It’s huge to wipe out judgements. I’m not there, but I certainly see the benefits of doing so.

    I fully relate to learning to say “no” in a positive, life-affirming way. This used to be so hard for me, but something snapped for me a year or two ago and it’s become so much easier.

    • Elle

      It’s so funny Sandra you’re so right about a life affirming way of saying no. It’s one thing learning to be better at it, it’s entirely another to learn to use no with some grace. I absolutely agree with you that it get’s easier and I’m so glad you reached that place in your life. 🙂

  2. The toughest part about saying no is to people whom you know. We want to please others, we don’t want to disappoint our friends, we are afraid of hurting them, we are afraid of they will perceive us when we say no to them. We need to say no to our friends at times to be on track.

    We got to learn to be comfortable in saying no to our friends and family. To begin with, one can learn to be comfortable by saying no for the sake of saying no.

    • Elle

      Good point Joe. Saying ‘no’ used to be a real challenge for me, so I would practice it. I wanted to do it kindly, both to myself and others. It’s amazing what you can do with a bit of practice! 🙂

  3. Saying no is so important. You can’t move down a certain path until you say no to a lot of other paths. This use to make me depressed and would make me change my mind all the time because I would question if I was going after the right thing when things got tough. Once I learned to say no and follow a path for a long term, my life changed for the better.

    It is also so important to reach out to friends. You never know who can help you on your way and who you can help on theirs.

    Learning to release expectations is important too, it also helps you enjoy life more because you are surprised and in awe when stuff happens.

    • Elle

      Great wisdom Sebastian. I’m so happy you allowed your challenges to grow you and your life. Good job you (a saying from across the pond). 🙂

  4. First, I’d accept that I want to be successful, because all my action will stem from that goal. I’ve found, during my training career, that many people are ready for the effort without really knowing what they want. That’s why efforts wane. When we’re determined to achieve something, after that it is only a matter of logistics 🙂

    Lovely post, Elle!

    • Elle

      Oh so true Vidya. Being clear on where you’re going is totally necessary. It’s odd that we wouldn’t set out on any journey without having a destination in mind, yet treat the most important journey, the journey of life in a totally different way. 🙂

  5. This first sentence is the one that is going to stick with me today, Elle. “Concentrate on the things that really matter and say no to everything else.” The others are great as well, but I find myself, at times, saying yes to too much. There is that middle ground that can be good, when we help others, but also take care of ourselves. Great suggestions here, because, bottom line it is our responsibility to make success happen! Thanks for the encouragement and inspiration.

    • Elle

      I had to laugh at your comment Cathy, because I recognize it all too well. They say we talk about what we need to focus on most and I too find myself saying yes to more than I can handle. That middle ground is not always an easy spot to find! But you’re so right, it’s the place to be. 🙂

  6. Hi Elle,
    I appreciate what you’ve said about not being stopped by circumstances and contrary opinions around us.
    Life will come at us with curve balls now and then.I like to ask questions about these things.Questions ,which release the locked gears of motivation,particularly in the face of adverse situations.
    You have been bashed in the past by situations,people,events,little failures,big embarrassments.So what’re you goin’ to do about it now?
    Carry that heavy,laden,rundown feeling with you for life?
    Is it worth it?
    Is that what you’re here for?
    Does it really bring you any sense of accomplishment?
    Well that’s what I like to ask myself.The answers may not be perfect but they trigger a search for solutions surely.

    • Elle

      Hi Adam and thanks for stopping by. So glad you enjoy the site. 🙂

  7. Hi, great post. I believe that our perspective in life has a great influence on our decisions which is the result of how we live our life now, learning to see the good in every situation, even those that seems to be unbearable, can always be an opportunity for greater growth in life. I’ll be sharing your post with my colleagues. Thanks.

    • Elle

      Hi Sherill, I appreciate the share and absolutely agree with you about perspective being all important. 🙂

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