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When life sucks

If life isn’t easy for you right now, I feel for you. I know all too well what it’s like to wake up to the same challenging reality every day.

Having lived through a ‘my life sucks’ period, feeling the same sense of frustration and pointlessness over and over and over, I know the challenge of keeping spirits high. But I also know what happens if you don’t make a clear and determined decision not to live like that for the rest of your life.

Almost every successful and truly happy person I’ve met, or read about, had a turning point. Some of us made it as teenagers, some not until much later in life and far too many never make it at all. Don’t be a late bloomer, get on that ride as soon as you’re able.

Here’s 5 things that might help you; some things to do when life sucks.

1. Practice reframing

be-your-best-friend

Remember that things are what we say they are. Sometimes you need to reinterpret events in a more positive way. Change your inner speech, change your language. If you stop declaring your experiences to be problems and define them as situations instead, you’ll instantly feel differently about them.

Everything is in our world because somewhere, at some point, we said yes to it. But the choice is yours as to how you view the things that show up. Problems create upset and stress, situations, on the other hand, are simply events to be dealt with. Go ahead, begin to reframe and you’ll start to feel a whole lot better.

2. Practice friendship

Be your own best friend and stop being your worst critic. Happy people approve of themselves and give themselves permission to be who they want to be. Stop looking for someone else to tell you you’re okay. It sends you on a never ending search for validation. You don’t need someone else to tell you what you’re worth. You’re a miracle.

Never say anything about you that you don’t want to come true. And stop paying more attention to the opinion of others than of yourself.  Once you decide to believe in yourself, to accept yourself, to honour and respect yourself you’ll discover the world will follow suit. Decide to feel terrific about who you are.

3. Practice new thinking

We all think we’re thinking, but truthfully, most of the time it’s just mental activity; don’t confuse a busy mind with a thinking one.

Undirected mental activity won’t bring about change.  Undirected thoughts won’t alter the course of your life or remake your destiny. And they definitely won’t bring about better things when you’re experiencing the ‘life sucks’ mode.

Make a conscious effort.- You won’t automatically direct your thoughts towards the things you want and the life you truly desire.   You have to stir yourself, rise up and decide you’re going to keep moving forward.

A thinking mind is a magnet for what you desire. Try thinking from the heart it’s a great way to move beyond the challenges of the day.

4. Practice handling new ideas

New ideas, new activity can turn a downward trend up. The downside can be that growing yourself means growing apart from those who would like you to stay just the way you are. Be prepared.

If you change, if you begin to take new actions, or speak in a new way not everyone will be supportive. Stick with those who are true friends. The one’s who support you no matter what. The ones who always and only imagine you having the best life possible.

The greatest difficulty isn’t having a new idea – it’s getting away from the old ones. Life is too short to struggle with those who want you to remain a prisoner of your past. Be willing to accept others for who they are, but keep moving forward towards who you’re becoming.

5. Practice optimism

Optimism is one quality more associated with success and happiness than any other. Magic lives in optimism.

What’s the ratio of your positive words to your negative ones? You’re creating an optimistic or pessimistic outlook by the language you use. Plus the things you think and say give you some clues as to your future success and happiness. (read Learned Optimism)

It’s a real challenge for some people to pay attention to their thoughts, especially in the beginning. If this is the case for you, try this:

Best possible self exercise

All you need is a place to write and think and imagine. Take twenty or thirty minutes to imagine your life next year, in five years, or in ten. Everything is just as you want it to be, it all turned out fabulously. You’re living the life of your dreams.

Write it down. What does it look like, how do you feel, what are you doing? What amazing things have you accomplished? Don’t worry about how you did it, just that you have.

Get the best out of this happiness activity – be persistent. Consistent practice helps you build your optimist muscle. Write daily for a month. You can read more about it here.

It might not come easily at first, but keep going. Be patient, be positive…eventually things come together.

In the comments below, I’d love to hear from you. How do you manage that ‘life sucks’ period?

Step forward and let’s hear from you.  YOUR share could trigger a breakthrough or inspiration that someone else really needs.

Thanks in advance for sharing this article with others.

Encourage one another.

With much love,

Elle

Elle Sommer
Elle is the creator of Live Purposefully Now, a website with a wide variety of authors and topics whose focus is on helping you to change/re-direct and navigate your life. She is a self-confessed spiritual junkie, offering a deeper more holistic approach to life. This deeper approach sets you on a simple path towards your greatest future, helps you remove those limiting beliefs that hold us all back and supports you in achieving your dreams.

33 Comments

  1. Hi Elle! This could not have come on a better day, honestly. I needed some cheering up as we are going through a big transition in our family, starting today.

    • Oh Julie, I do hope the transition turns out to be absolutely fabulous for you and your family. I’m so glad this cheered you up a bit. You know where I am if you ever want to talk. e-hugs 🙂

    • i think the reason my life has been bad is because I let guys in who are toxic and want to bring me down with them. I never believed I could have normal friends. Some people cant rise above modern life which involves money, bills, business, banks, etc, which make it impossible to have time.

      I’ve also been in mental health groups that advocate shelters and group homes which make a person a sheep, and makes it impossible to even have a life.

      Its very hard to accomplish anything in life, I have done things in private like make music
      pray, and spend time with my mother.

      But other than that this world has been fucking terrible and impossible to deal with.

  2. Hi Elle,
    This is so brilliant and spot on > “We all think we’re thinking, but truthfully, most of the time it’s just mental activity; don’t confuse a busy mind with a thinking one.”
    I know that everything is impermanent and that life flows in cycles. Some times are easier than others, but the challenges are opportunities to grow stronger.

    • So glad you enjoyed it Sandra. I absolutely agree with you that challenges are opportunities to grow stronger. Even though there are times when I find myself saying…really…more growth, again! 🙂

  3. We were on the same wavelength again Elle! I just posted an article about ideas of what to do when life sucks. Between our two posts, there are many options that someone could take. I love reading yours!

    • It’s so funny how often we do that Paige. Sounds like some kind of vulcan mind-meld! 🙂

  4. The life sucks period is difficult but necessary. Without it we wouldn’t have the life is awesome phase. I think it is good to imagine how things will turn out and at the same time studies have shown that it can actually be damaging to focus on it too much because you ignore the reality that there will be a lot of unknown roadblocks that pop up and then when you face the roadblocks to your goal you quit. I like to write down how I want life to turn out and then I write down a bunch of potential problems I could face along the way.

    • I always think it’s cool to see the beliefs and actions in others Sebastian. It’s wonderful that we are all so unique in our expression in life. Writing down the potential problems wouldn’t work for me, but I’m happy to hear it leads you to experience success in life. I’ve personally found it quite easy to be focused on my ideal outcomes whilst managing any current situation I might be facing. In fact it’s probably one of the easiest ways for me to have my life filled with fulfilled desires. We all operate universal principles in our own way, and I’m grateful to you, as always, for sharing your perspective. You’re amazing. 🙂

      • It is so true that we all operate our own universal principles in our unique way. I commend you for being able to do that. I know that if I get too involved in the future, I stop focusing on the present and enjoying things for what they are presently.

  5. Isn’t life just a road with sucky poo barriers to overcome? I just keep on trucking to that light at the end of the tunnel, it’s always there, somewhere. Love the write up Elle.

    • So true Linda…there’s always a light, and for me, it’s easier to find when I’m deliberately looking for it. 🙂

    • Hi Simple girl, nice to have you join in the conversation. I’m imagining you hitting that turning point really soon. 🙂

  6. Hi Elle,
    When we go through the “life-sucks” phase its good to recal that we are marathon problem solvers in life.

    Yes,that’s right.We are a marathon problem solver in this life.As long as we breathe we will invariably be doing only this.Problem solving is our default programme in life on this planet.There is absolutely no escaping this reality,nor is it sensible to “ostrich it out”.So we better face our “Goliaths” squarely.And we owe it to ourselves to stay calm-happy-positive while we do that.
    Just make sure to remember the ephemerality of this life,and the need to be happy, as you walk through your problems ,one after the other.
    Thanks
    Mona

    • You always have wise words to share Mona. So true that we can still feel happiness, even during the sucky moments. There’s always something that’s good, even if it’s just getting out of bed to live another day. 🙂

  7. Hi Elle,
    I love your suggestions and try to use many of them as well. I love your ‘Best possible exercise’ suggestion.
    I used to get really down in the dumps when it seemed life was in a sucky place. Now I realize it is temporary and usually I just keep telling myself that and focus on the things I know bring me happiness. Sometimes it’s simply a favorite hobby. I love to learn new things so right now I am taking some classes to refine some of my skills. Fo me doing something productive can be a real help.

    • How cool Melissa that you’ve become aware that even sucky places in life are only temporary. I too learned some time ago that first comes awareness then we are at choice as to the attitude we bring to any situation. I will confess there are times when it takes a bit longer to shift that attitude…but today it’s a darn site quicker than it was yesterday. Progress is a wonderful thing. 🙂 I love your idea of doing something productive to shift your spirits.

  8. Everybody goes through that period now and then. Conscious effort to remain positive under adverse circumstances is the only way to go. Great post!

    • Welcome Priya and thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. I truly appreciate you. 🙂

  9. When I’m going through that period (which happens from time to time), I realize that it is only temporary and do my best to focus on the positive things rather than the crappy things! Thanks so much, Elle, for the positivity and inspiration!

    • It’s cool to be that aware Cher. We all need to have it before we can choose to experience something else. I think awareness truly is power. 🙂

  10. Thanks for this Elle – I think #4 is so critical for all of us in this ever-changing world. I see it a lot in the workplace too, employers need us to be a lot more flexible and open to new things as ‘change is a constant’.

    • Hi Ellen…so true that change is a constant…even though sometimes I’d prefer that it wasn’t, but what are you going to do. lol 🙂

  11. Elle,

    You know I love this! Moving forward is all about working with your mind and thoughts. Thanks for all of the useful suggestions.

  12. You are so right Elle Journaling is so powerful on moving from the sucky state to where you want to be Di you read the story about OCTAVIA BUTLER’S PERSONAL JOURNAL SHOWS THE AUTHOR LITERALLY WROTE HER LIFE INTO EXISTENCE fascinating xx

    • Wow Suzie…writing your life into existence sounds absolutely awesome…now that’s a must read. 🙂

  13. Life really sucks for many of us single guys that have no wife and family since many of us aren’t single by choice to begin with.

    • Hi James…there are ways to change your life and you can find some of them in our articles. Wishing you the best.

  14. With so many women these days that have their very high unrealistic expectations along with their very high standards, of course it makes it very difficult for many of us men to find love now. Funny how most women in the past weren’t like today at all since they didn’t have much at all back then, and that is why it was very easy finding love in those days the way our family members had it.

    • Hi James, in my experience I have found love flows more freely when it is unlimited by expectations. As Mandy Hale said: “When you release expectations you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be.” Maybe this is the way for love to find you. Wishing you the blessings of love in your life.

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