Man in a dark forest with fog

Let’s not sugarcoat this.

Somedays life sucks. Business challenges, personal problems, cash flow worries; troubling things happen to us all.  No one is exempt from those unexpected challenges that leave us feeling scared, vulnerable, alone and even lost.

There comes a time when life throws at you something that’s hard to handle. Heartache, breakdown in health, unexpected losses.

Regardless of how strong you think you are, how confident you’ve been feeling there are times when it’s hard to keep smiling, stay positive and keep going.

But remember this, even if you feel utterly powerless…you’re not.

If you use the right approach you can adjust your sails and head for smoother water…

1.You can better your life by making yourself better

No one can live a life without some pain; but misery…well that’s a choice.

There was never a promise that life would be pain free or challenge free but within each of us is the power to develop meaningful ways of managing life when everything goes to hell in a hand-basket.

Some of the most painful things in my life have been the most incredible opportunities for growth. Make up your mind today that you won’t let wounds and hurts and pain destroy you.  Don’t let problems control you, nor others determine your responses to life.

Decide not to surrender, nor to shrink, but triumph over all that comes your way.

Determine to come out the other side stronger and wiser.

Believe in great possibilities and to the degree you believe, it becomes your truth.

2.Follow an empowering philosophy

‘Don’t expect anything, then you won’t be disappointed’, is a terrible philosophy.

What’s so wrong with being disappointed? Disappointment, like regret is a useful feeling, reminding us of the vibration of energy we’re occupying. Uncomfortable feelings motivate you to fix whatever doesn’t feel good.

Disappointment, along with defeat can be the very light we need to show us a new way.

Expecting the world to be a supportive place; believing in your power to manifest a life you desire, makes success and happiness much easier to come by.

Expecting good things opens you to greater possibilities and opportunities. Nothing is too good for you. Set your sights as high as possible and determine not to allow disappointments to get in your way.

Expect wonderful things, believe you can have them, trust in the process and before too long you’ll begin to experience the evidence that it is so.

3.Begin each day on purpose

Without a strong purpose it’s easy to get crushed by a bad day, be wiped out by a bad month and annihilated by a year that seems to be going backwards. Having a strong desire for your future, something beyond next week or next month is a power that pulls you through desperate times.

Find a desire strong enough to full your mind your heart and your spirit and it will pull you towards it as powerfully as a magnet pulls iron. Miracles happen when your heart and soul work together filling you with great ideas that lead towards the fulfillment of your desire.

Use every challenge, every disappointment to transform yourself. Harness the incredible power within and manifest your greater reality. Don’t worry whether others believe in your vision, they have their own purpose to discover. Don’t let small minds persuade you not to have big dreams.

4.Change your mind…a lot

The best thing in the world is change. It’s a renewal that moves you from the old into the new. Change is that aspect of life that brings you what you want. Without it, there would be no progress, nothing to propel you forward to greater success and happiness.

Remember, that regardless of what’s happened in the past, it’s never too late to make changes of the heart and mind.

It’s never too late to think new thoughts about old experiences. Your thoughts create the bridge between your dreams to reality; from desire to fulfillment. It’s only by changing within that you can experience change in your outer physical world.

When something you’ve been thinking hasn’t changed or improved something, it’s a waste of your time and energy to stick with it. Renewal is called for.

Sometimes you have to find a new and better way to think, and do it daily if necessary. Start choosing new thoughts, those that produce greater health and happiness and move you towards the increase of all the good that life has to offer.

Think about it, those who are willing to change their mind, regardless of the times they live in, the circumstances that surround them or the place they call home are always moving toward a richer, more fulfilling life.

5.Managing the ups and downs of every day life

It’s not the one who can never see beyond the storms of life that finds himself in calmer waters.

Those who learn to use disappointments to their advantage, create a new personal philosophy and put it into action, or cultivate the habit of renewing their mind discover that nothing can stop them from living a joyful, fulfilling life. Believe you can, believe you deserve it, find the approach that works best for you and follow it.

Remember, you deserve to be your happiest, most successful self in every area of your life and I have a challenge for you: Make today your day.

It’s yours.

Shape it however you choose and let us know in the comments below your intentions and expectations for this wonderful new day.

As we continue changing ourselves, we are changing our world. Thank you for sharing your journey with us I’m grateful for your support and encouragement and if you know of someone who could use a little help in bouncing back from whatever life has thrown their way, please spread the word via your favourite social networks.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. This is such a powerful step, Elle: “Make up your mind today that you won’t let wounds and hurts and pain destroy you. Don’t let problems control you, nor others determine your responses to life.”

    I’ve had many painful times in my life and sometimes I didn’t let go so gracefully. But that’s just because I let other people and situations control me instead of taking charge of my mind and my life as you suggest. What a relief to know I no longer have to do that.

    Your advice is always spot on! I’m so grateful to know you.

    • ElleSommer

      Me too you Sandra! You make a great point, that letting go with grace takes a little practice and I’m truly happy for you that you’ve taken back control of your responses and reactions to life and others. I know the relief that it brings, although I will confess I still have my moments! I’m just a work in progress. 🙂

  2. Wow Elle this was very powerful….

    ‘Don’t expect anything, then you won’t be disappointed’, is a terrible philosophy.

    It is the philosophy I grew up with in my family and it has been a lifetime shaking it…your words here are helpful for me to know I am on the right track.

    • ElleSommer

      Welcome Donna. Funnily enough I heard that a lot…usually from my big brother! Big congrats to you for choosing the reframe your philosophy on life. 🙂

  3. Elle,

    I love this. What wise words. I always tell my sons to expect “problems” and that only their thinking makes them “problems.” They always say, “Thanks a lot, Mom” thinking this to be negative. I’m trying to teach them that it’s and that problems are not. They’re not buying it yet. 🙂 Maybe one day.

    • ElleSommer

      It’s interesting guiding the kids away from common beliefs about how life works. We’re so bombarded from all sides with the negativity of life it’s amazing any of us are able to change our perspective! The little ones in our family call imagination their desired outcome, using their mind power – course they’re not yet at an age where their peers scoff at them. 🙂

  4. I love your tips here, Elle. The idea of beginning each day with purpose makes so much sense. It’s so easy to get swallowed up in everyone’s else’s schedule, unless you focus on your “miracles” and open up your mind. “Use every challenge, every disappointment to transform yourself. – I have found this to be so true. It is the only way forward in a positive way! Thank you!

    • ElleSommer

      No one does this better than you Cathy. You’re such a great role model for our readers, I do hope they follow the link and find out what’s on offer on your site. It’s so encouraging. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle,

    It took me a longtime to figure out how to first turn toward my feelings instead of runaway from them. When I try to pretend my problems aren’t there, I miss the opportunity to feel my grief. I prevent myself from crying, and I basically tell myself that feeling pain is not okay. This has been a big struggle for me. Until I acknowledge/embrace my pain, while not giving up on myself, I will not learn the potential lesson that my pain has brought me. The more times I run away, the more times I find myself with the same problems.

    Do you have suggestions for how to turn and face the problems we are experiencing? How to sit with our pain first without trying to solve them, and then from that place ask our self what needs to be done?

    Thank you for your post!


    • ElleSommer

      Hi Brian, what a great question. And I think it’s one that’s plagued is all on and off. I always think kids are the best example. Watch a little kid get mad or sad or upset about something. Boy do they allow those feelings to come through. And then, having felt them they let them go, because they’re in the next moment of their life. Sad to say, most of us have got into the habit of not letting the feelings go. So it’s scary to even feel them. All our feelings are letting us know the vibration of energy we’re in. That’s the word we use to describe vibration…feeling.

      If something is challenging for me to let go of, or my mind keeps thinking thoughts that lead to painful feelings that should have been felt and let go, I head towards the releasing technique. 🙂

  6. Hi Elle

    Happy New Year.

    All I can say is thank you for such a wonderful post.

    Beginning every day with purpose is wisdom. Use you challenges and disappointment to change yourself is life transforming.

    Thanks again for this awesome post. Have a great week.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Ikechi, nice to see you again and thanks for stopping by to share your words. You are always appreciated. 🙂

  7. Oh how wonderful this post is! I believe that happiness is something that has to be practiced daily. It can be a battle sometimes but I can honestly agree with everything that is said here, it’s just what I needed!

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Erynn, how lovely to see you joining our conversation. Interesting you should use the word battle. I’ve just written that in my latest post, which will be out on Sunday, as usual. Hope you like that one too! 🙂

  8. Dearest Elle, thank you for sharing this when you are going through such a challenging time. I thought your point about disappointment was particularly relevant for me right now; the idea that “Uncomfortable feelings motivate you to fix whatever doesn’t feel good.” is a good reframe which I’ll be pondering this week. Sending you love and support through this difficult time x

    • ElleSommer

      Thank you Ellen, I so appreciate your loving support. It’s always good to be willing to reframe things, at least that’s what I’ve found as I meander through life. We often reach new and exciting places that we’ve never seen before simply be choosing to see something in a different light. 🙂

  9. Thank you for your awesome blog. My life has been a struggle even from childhood. You see I’m a little person. I was called all sorts of names and It was very hard to make friends. But God has helped me through my life!

    • Hi Carol…thank you for sharing your story and may this help others to overcome as you have done dear one. 🙂

  10. Angelus Jim Lam

    This is advice for people who are feeling blue, not for people who really have everything falling apart. I am about to become homeless, I am chronically depressed, and have lost many friends and now even close family are giving up on me and turning against me. I do a job I hate, but is the tiny seed of hope and normality I cling to. I have no money, barely any possessions, no way of getting privacy. I can’t be me. I need new clothes and shoes, but I’m saving to be able to afford the deposit to a dirty little apartment. This is everything falling apart. I’d love to find a philosophy empowering enough to dig me out of this hole.

    • Hi Angelus – you are correct about the advice in the article. What you have been experiencing is life at an entirely different level of pain, frustration and anxiety. I have never been in your shoes and I’m so sorry for all that is falling apart in your world. And yet, with the level of pain, loss and anxiety that I have experienced in life, I am still a big believer in working life from the inside out and finding even small ways to practice this philosophy would be my go-to-place. The one thing no-one can ever take away from you is your mind and your ability to think the thoughts you want to think. Never an easy thing when life is so full-on hard dear one. But starting somewhere is something. May you be blessed with a turnaround in your life experiences.

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