There are ways that are designed to build confidence.

After all, you want to live the best life possible. Who doesn’t? But you freeze when it comes to pursuing that ideal career, starting your own business, or chasing that dream.  

You’ve read hundreds of self-help books that promise to get you where you want to go.

It’s supposed to be easy. Right?

Yet here you are, not getting to where you want to go because you still can’t believe it’s possible. Not for you.

You worry about it, and you shouldn’t; all you need is a little more confidence. And since confidence comes from within, you can find ways to have more faith in yourself at any time.

But if this isn’t easy, here are some no-sweat ways to bridge the confidence gap.

Become aware

Begin at the beginning. Look at how a lack of confidence shows up in your life. 

What have you left undone because you didn’t think you could do it? 

What ‘less than’ thoughts and choices have you made and are still making. 

Where have you been beating yourself up and feeling unworthy? 

Becoming self-aware is the first step towards making changes, and the good news is that you don’t have to do everything at once. Instead, it’s that one small step followed by the next small step that gets you to the top of the mountain.

Get a game plan

Half the problem with a lack of confidence is living each day without plans on getting where you want to go. 

Create a mental picture of what it is you want and then find something, one thing that you could put into practice today. 

For example, if you want an extraordinary, exciting, fulfilling life…then put into practice ideas and actions that support you in having an incredibly confident, exciting, and fulfilling life. 

It isn’t just going to magically appear in your world. It needs your help to bring that life into being. Plus, putting the smallest thing into practice is a big step in bridging that confidence gap.

Accentuate small wins

When you’ve had or done something that feels pretty good, you don’t need the approval of others before giving yourself a pat on the back. Please do it for yourself.

Believing in yourself, regardless of what others think, stops your old need to please people. It becomes tough to believe in yourself when you have to wait for someone else’s approval. If you don’t get it, you won’t feel good. That’s no way to live…placing your happiness in the hands of others.

Don’t shoot for the moon

One of the common threads in training Olympic athletes was focusing on a series of winnable goals, working on doing one thing better than before. 

So many of us shoot for the moon only to be discouraged when we miss the mark. Be more like an athlete and focus on definable achievements every day, however small. This gives you confidence in your ability, and you’ll feel good about yourself. Good enough to try something a little more adventurous next time. 

Follow your enthusiasm

There’s something about enthusiasm that brings out the light in people.

Think about those times you were with someone who was totally passionate about something, the burning energy of it is contagious. It seems breathtaking and filled with purpose. 

When you find something you’re enthusiastic about, you find greater fulfillment and are filled with a sense of purpose. This is a ginormous confidence gap booster. Unleash your passion, and you’ll always have a stockpile of confidence to draw on.

Feed your confidence

We can’t be in two states of mind at the same time. 

Feed your confidence and starve the thoughts that say you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not competent enough, or not attractive enough. These become the fears we operate from and appear in the form of rationalizations and excuses that undermine and hamper success.

Train your mind to live in a state of mind of confidence and success, and remember, if you feed your confidence, you’ll be slimming down your fears.

Be more like Georgia O-keefe, the artist who said she’d been terrified every moment of her life and never let it stop her from doing a single thing she wanted to.

But confidence isn’t about how much you know or how intelligent you are when all is said and done. It’s about being willing to step up to the plate and change how you’ve been doing things. It’s also about trusting and valuing yourself, regardless of your imperfections. 

And yes, you have them.

If you’re still stuck, try this on for size. First, make a list of things you’ve done that you’re most proud of. They can be anything, from being a great parent to rocketing your way to success in your field. It doesn’t matter. Then use your list to make some positive affirmations about what you can do. It’s a great confidence builder.

Hiding within you is a sure-footed, flourishing, happy soul. By using one or any of these ideas, you will let it out to shine.

Final thoughts on bridging the confidence gap

Please don’t expect that elevating your level of confidence means you’re going to be absolutely sure of yourself at all times. Life just doesn’t work that way. I wish it did, it would make my life a whole lot easier! But it is about trusting yourself enough to know that no matter what situation you find yourself in, you will be able to handle it and learn from the outcome.


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Elle, I especially like this approach because the steps seems manageable and doable. Here’s to more confidence!

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