gain-control-of-your-life[success]The will to win. The desire to succeed. The urge to reach your full potential. These are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. ~ Confucius[/success]

Living a successful life simply means stringing together a lot of successful days. It’s time to stop focusing on ‘getting through the day’.  Your lifetime is made up of days, suspended between weeks and months. Make them count. You’ll never experience the great things that await you if you don’t gain control of your life.

Too often we stay where we are because we believe we can’t do things differently, we can’t be different. It’s not true.

You don’t have to live your life in a ‘hit or miss’ fashion. Options are always available to you. Begin by taking back control of your life and exercising new choices.

1. The only way to change outcomes

Getting what you want from life is a matter of solving the problems that stand between where you are now and the place you want to be. No one is without problems. They’re part of living.

You were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it. Know that it is possible to come out of any dark place more courageous, more beautiful and more strong than before.

don't-hand-over-your-powerFar too many people miss out on their share of joy and love, not because it isn’t available, but because they’re too busy handing over their power to others. No matter how you look at it, if you’re living your life according to someone else’s expectations you’re no longer in control of your life and you’ll never be able to change the outcome.

Begin telling yourself you cannot fail, you can only learn and grow. Keep repeating these words to yourself every chance you get and you will create a new belief that could change the course of your life.

2. Change your ideas on happiness

Some people were never taught how to be happy. We might all be free to pursue happiness but it doesn’t mean that it’s up to someone else to give it to us.

Stop waiting for happiness to find you, it isn’t some grand prize awarded by the universe because you’ve suffered so much. Happiness isn’t something you passively receive, it’s something you actively do.

It’s true that happiness is a choice you can make every day, it’s also true that it often arrives when you are so busy living your life you hardly have time to think about whether you’re happy or not.

Embrace life, seek connectedness and usefulness and you’ll discover happiness is a wonderful byproduct.

Lasting happiness is more likely to come from facing your life with courage, knowing you’re doing the right thing however it’s turning out. You and only you are responsible for your happiness so seize the day and take control.find-courage

3. Find the courage to take your life back

You can’t life your life in fear, stumbling around in the darkness with your attention on all the things you don’t want or all the people or places you never want to see again.

It takes courage to take a good look at yourself and your life and grasp every wonderful piece of it. It’s time to take a stand. You need to decide that it’s no longer good enough for you to know where you don’t want to go. Find the courage to finally take your life into your own hands; pick a direction; choose what you want.

When you pluck up the courage to go after your biggest dreams, life has a way of making that dream come true. Life has a way of opening doors you couldn’t even see, through which wonderful things begin to pour into your world.

4. Focus where your potential and passion live

You have to stop caring about what everyone else thinks is important. Unless you have weaknesses that minimize your strengths, just work around them. Invest your time in your signature strengths, those areas where you really shine. You’ll maximise your effectiveness and lift your spirits.

Remember being involved in anything you’re really good at contributes to your happiness levels. So get your mojo working and use your natural talents to achieve peak performance in your life.

If you want to live the good life, playing to your natural strengths will turn your hit and miss day into an energizing, soul satisfying experience. Build a beautiful life around your strengths and skills.

Where are you missing out on your share of happiness by not being in charge of your life? Or do you have great tips to share with the rest of us about how you’re living a life of purpose and passion. My appreciation in advance for being cool and kind as you share your views.

Our community is absolutely awesome and that’s all because of you. Thank you for reading, and if you know anyone who wants to take their life back or needs a little encouragement, please pass on this article or share it via social media.

These ideas may help someone you care about transform their life.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. It was when I shifted my focus away from myself and toward other people and how I could help them by using my own gifts, that was when I stopped caring so much what other people thought of me. I realized that other people’s judgments really didn’t matter. And, boy, was that a true feeling of freedom!

    Life is so much easier when I stopped caring about what other people thought of me. My goal is always to be authentically me. When that happens, I don’t have to constantly worry (consciously or unconsciously) whether or not I’m meeting someone else’s expectations of me.

    Decide where you want to go, overcome the bumps along the way and be your authentic self along the way. Yes, you can decide to be happy regardless of your circumstances. You always have something to be grateful for.

    Elle, I completely agree that failure is impossible. Life is a series of experiences and experiments that are there for us to learn from. It’s up to us to glean the lessons and apply them as we move forward.

    Love this post!
    Big Hugs!!

    • Elle

      What a great comment Paige, so full of wisdom and experience. It’s wonderful that with your choice to not allow others to influence your feelings you gained the liberty and freedom that is our birthright. A big woohoo for you. 🙂

  2. The way I’m taking my life back right now is by changing my work to play ratio! I need more play time and I’m seeing how to cut out the time wasters and unnecessary steps in my work.

    This is such beautiful encouragement, Elle: “Know that it is possible to come out of any dark place more courageous, more beautiful and more strong than before.” I also appreciate the insight that we are not necessarily taught how to be happy so it’s now time to learn for ourselves.

    • Elle

      I like the idea of a work to play ratio Sandra. I could do with a lesson or two from you on cutting out the time wasters. I’m really good at that part of my day! 🙂

  3. Hi Elle, You know we are doing that over here! It’s the big step-out time now. I kind of can’t wait to see how it all turns out, and while I have the kids to myself I am going to work on some of the passion and potential. I’m thinking swimming, sports, writing, tumbling, just enjoying more of every day 🙂

    • Elle

      Wow, that’s some schedule Julie. But I bet you feel wonderful at the end of every day. I notice how much better I feel when I’ve actively chosen to step-out of the routine. I’m fine tuning it so that I don’t even sit in the same chair all the time. I’m thinking of getting back to swimming every day too. It’s such a waste to have a pool that we just look at! 🙂

  4. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another excellent article, Elle !Sometimes we get so caught up in the everyday grind that we forget we have options let alone that WE have the power of choosing those options. And then your next article arrives, lovingly reminding and guiding and encouraging . . . Thank you .Write on, Elle ! ! !

    • Elle

      Haven’t heard from you in a while Joseph…nice to have you back. Aaah those choices that we forget to make so we keep letting out old patterns run the show. Great for us, if they’re patterns of abundance and good things. Not so good if they’re not. 😀

  5. Hi Elle, I am sooooo forwarding this to a friend of mine. These words are right in line with a previous conversation…”Too often we stay where we are because we believe we can’t do things differently, we can’t be different. It’s not true.”

    • Elle

      I’m so happy you’re forwarding this to your friend Melissa. I’m such a believer in encouraging and supporting one another and shining the light on someone else’s greatness because they just haven’t accessed yet. Thank you for sharing dear friend. 🙂

  6. Hi, after reading your post, it made me realize that we need to really focus where our potential and passion live, that way, we can definitely build a beautiful life around our strengths and skills. Thanks for sharing such a very motivating post.

    • Elle

      Happy you liked it Lynne. Don’t know about you, but there are times when I think I know where my passion is leading me, and then when I’m in it, I recognize that it isn’t quite it. The challenge then is to be willing to so okay, even though I’ve come a long way down this path, it’s time to turn around. 🙂

  7. Hi Elle,
    You’re so right there,about getting our mojo moving to claim our life back by focussing on our strenghts.It has a lot to do with how our inner world is configured as well.

    When they opened the Tomb of Hermes the most powerful piece of wisdom was emblazoned on the stone,which said “as within so without”,which means that your entire universe is a reflection of whatever is happening inside your mind.And therefore happiness is essentially an outcome of what is happening within every one of us.

    Whatever is happening inside is like an invisible boomerang that keeps returning to us our own curve balls, or grace .
    Your thoughts and feelings dictate how happy you end up feeling.You are always asked to think positively, and towards that end there is a huge industry focussing on teaching people to think positively.

    Affirmations,hypnosis,neuro linguistic programming,meditation,are some of the holistic methods used for increasing your happiness quotient,other than the run of the mill pursuits.

    Thanks Elle

    • Elle

      Hi Mona, as always you gave us some great and practical methods to use. It really does boil down to awareness and practice. Personal development and growth is always about persistent and consistent practice. No different than going to the gym to build muscles. We’re just building a muscle vital to our health and well being…that internal one. 🙂

  8. Hi Elle,

    Love this article. We all get so busy, we can easily forget to keep everything in perspective. Great reminder that we can choose to be happy. There will always be challenges in life. It helps me to do what I can to return to my usual state of happiness, and that is where I choose to remain as much as possible. Thanks!

    • Elle

      Thanks for stopping by Cathy. You’re so right, it’s easy to forget that we’re always at choice. Especially when we get caught up in the busyness of life. The only way I can do it, so far, is to keep a timer on the go, so I’ll stop every one or two hours and turn away from what I’m caught up in and choose what I want. How do you manage to keep returning to your state of happiness throughout the day?

      • I like the timer idea. I make sure that my day has some things in it that I have chosen for myself and so I’m not just reacting to what is going on around me. I also think that internally I’ve just made the decision to be in control and happy and that is the norm I try and get back to as quickly as possible when things get off track. Take care!

  9. While reading your post, I was really wondering that your way of expressing the thoughts are so intense. I am totally agree with you that happiness comes from within yourself, never try to find it from anywhere or someone else.

    • Elle

      Nice to see you Cheenu and how wonderful that you are aware of experiencing happiness from within. Isn’ it great that we don’t have to go looking for it? 🙂

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