African-American man standing by water at sunset in Washington,

Our mind can do any kind of job we ask of it, but we ask so little. Instead we get sucked into being overloaded, overwhelmed, overburdened and overstretched.

You probably didn’t intend to get so busy, You probably never realized you were creating a life of hustle and bustle, feverishly rushing from one project or task to the next, with never enough time to spare.

If you’re busy doing everything you love, in a world of your making, bursting with opportunities, you’re one of the lucky ones.

Most of us are busy being run ragged by all our must do’s. We’re not occupied with what truly matters. We’re not jumping out of bed every morning excited to start our day. In fact we’re so busy we don’t have time to determine what really matters.

Sometimes we just need to get a handle on those thoughts and habits that create stress and tension, make us sick and depressed or overanxious, and keep us from living the life we deserve.

Decide now. What is it you really want? It’s the most important choice you make in your life.

It doesn’t have to be what you want for ever, just what you want right now. And then begin to nurture that choice, work steadily towards it and it will become your reality.

Here’s 3 ways, that in my experience can lead you to one thing we all would like, to move beyond feeling overwhelmed and overstretched into a happier more relaxed and fulfilling way of life.

1. Allow yourself to be inspired

Don’t wait until desperation sets in before you decide to find the answers you seek. Allow those momentary heart whispers to be heard and rekindle those desires that have dimmed to a glow.

You’re either going to spend your time being busy with what doesn’t really matter to you or you’re going to take the time to create the life you want.

Wherever life finds you right now, decide you deserve to live each moment more consciously and allow your heart to be inspired to act.

What you do is who you are; what you say you’ll do are just words.

Remind yourself regularly, you can do this and then go and do it. And should you get lost along the way, sit quietly and know you can always follow your heart, it usually knows the way.

2. Use the power of concentration

Trying to do everything at once creates chaos and everything becomes jumbled up in one giant mess.

Life doesn’t always go according to plan, but you don’t have to make it hard on yourself.

In truth we can only really concentrate on one thing at a time.

Distractions are plentiful, but you have the power to decide where your attention will fall.

All progress and the chance to live the life you choose depends upon your ability to control your attention and not get distracted.

The capacity to change your future depends upon your skill in managing your attention and most of us aren’t that skillful, so we have to train our minds to be more focused.

A simple trick: choose five thoughts to focus on every day. Thoughts like, I have a love filled day. My day is easy and fun. I”m grateful for all I accomplished. It’s lovely to feel so healthy. Great ideas always come to me.

Pick thoughts that appeal to you, and give them as much undivided attention throughout the day as possible and you’ll give them a chance to work their inevitable magic.

 3. Set your priorities

No one else will see the world in the same way that you do. No one else knows what’s right for you which is why you need to set your own priorities. It’s far too easy to make everyone else a priority and put yourself at the bottom of the heap.

Your life needs to be lived purposefully if you’re to live the best life possible. And that includes taking time to work out what’s important to you.

Take time to love a lot, laugh, be in joy, be thrilled and excited to be alive. Be willing to recognize that we’re not here for ever and time is a precious commodity that we never get back once we’ve wasted it.

Prioritize your time. You matter too.

It’s wonderful to be kind. Being generous is a great asset but it doesn’t mean you forget to be kind to you.

Don’t allow your kind and generous nature to become a liability, you can’t say yes to everything and as Steve Jobs said, it’s only by saying no that you can concentrate on what’s really important.

Learn to say no without feeling guilty; setting boundaries is healthy for everyone.

Give yourself permission to say no to experiences and people who drain you or demand more than you want to give in the moment.

4. Change your mind

For any transformation to take place and stick, we have to have a change of heart, or a change of mind. We can’t and won’t experience new things in our world whilst we still have the same mindset that produced the old things.

It’s the willingness to move to a new mindset that produces more happiness, an increase in joy, better health, and greater success.

Spiritually speaking, the only way to always be free, always be moving into richer and more fulfilling experiences is through a renewal of the mind, or change of heart.

Listen to your intuition, your heart,  and when it tells you to do something that others think is crazy, or will complicate your life, or seems impossible, ignore everything and everyone that screams no and listen to that quiet inner voice that whispers, yes, this is the way.

Follow your heart and embrace your new reality, knowing you’re far too exceptional to settle for anything less than a rich, fulfilling life.

Over to you. Do share in the comments below what you’ll take away from this week’s post. Or, if you’ve found yourself practicing easy ways to live a more relaxed and happy life, tell us what you’re doing. We’d love to hear from you.

As always, we appreciate your kindness, compassion and encouragement.  If you enjoyed this article please share on your favourite social network. It may be exactly what someone else needs to hear to today.

Encourage one another.

With love and appreciation,



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. hi elle; thanks for this post. i must confess that over the last few weeks i haven’t been as good at finding my center and doing what is important to me in the moment. I got so wrapped up in finishing my ebook that i think i lost a little of my natural calm. i usually find it easy to grow where i am or bloom where you are planted as osteen says it. just today i was mentioning to someone else that I was unsatisfied with my progress towards finding coaching clients. he was a wise friend who replied max how long have you been at it. i looked and sure enough its only been five months. i then commented to him how crazy this was because i have written posts on my site about revisiting your accomplishments so you are reminded of how far you have come. I failed to do that myself. I’m sure I’m not the first one to not listen to my own advice. but all it took was him to ask that one great question at the right time. I hope the people reading this have one of those friends or can remind themselves to take stock regularly and give thanks for their achievements. so I’m feeling better and your post helped even more. thanks and take care, max

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Max – so glad you found this helpful. I don’t think it matters how far along the road we are, having someone in our corner, regardless of where they come from, who remind us who we are, where we’re planning on heading, and give us support with kindness and love, is something we all need to truly continue to flourish. May you continue to find whatever you need whenever you need it my friend. 🙂

  2. I’m so grateful for this post, Elle. Overwhelm has always been a big part of my life probably as a result of trauma. I’ve been slowly undoing that over recent years.

    This is just so true: “The capacity to change your future depends upon your skill in managing your attention…” Often, I think we’re afraid to do what’s important and use busyness to fill up our lives. I also love the idea of select 5 thoughts to focus on each day. I’m going to implement that one for sure.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Sandra, I’m a bit late in responding to comments on this post, because currently I’m sailing in the Caribbean Sea… talk about being able to reframe our life and get a new perspective on things. There’s nothing quite like the rocking of a ship to soothe away all the ‘stuff’ we allow to build up in life! Personally I need those thoughts to return to on a daily basis and I’d love to know how it works out for you dear One. 🙂 And many congratulations on undoing the past…how wonderful for you.

  3. Yeah, Elle.. this is a must share post! I love to share your posts on Stumbleupon!

    This just made my day!

    I always fell in trying to multitask, and things becomes so stressing and difficult as it messed up haha..
    I think, using the power of concentration will make things easier on my part. But sometimes, self-discipline is what I’m missing when I’m aiming to do my interests/thoughts/tasks. at once. 🙂 Other than that, all what you have mentioned are good motivations to start with, or combine all of them will create a more happy, relaxed and stress free daily living..

    • ElleSommer

      Thank you Jhem, I appreciate it every time someone wants to share my words. I’m currently reading a book on understanding why so many of us lack follow through. I remember my mum telling me that the road to hell was paved with good intentions! Well I’m not too sure about that, but I do know it’s true that many of us have the greatest intentions and lack the follow through. I’ll no doubt be writing about that soon, after I put some new techniques into practice, just to make sure they work. 🙂

  4. One thing I do to start my day off happy and relaxed is to lay in bed when I first wake up and think about everything I’m grateful for. Everything from the people in my life to simple things like being able to walk. It might sound cheesy, but I can tell you it really helps put things in perspective. I’ve found this to also be great for creating an abundance mindset, as opposed to a scarcity mindset that we are often encouraged to have. Nice post, thanks!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello KW – that’s a great idea. Nothing like a little gratitude to start the day. I don’t think it’s cheesy at all. In fact I think it acts like a magnifier, setting you up for a day filled with more thing to be grateful for. Great tip, thank you for sharing with us. Maybe more of us will begin a day more like you…what a fantastic world we’ll be creating. 🙂

    • ElleSommer

      Hello David – when we get down to it, I think it’s true for us all. It’s easy to confuse the important with what’s a true priority in that moment. 🙂

  5. Thanks for such a thoughtful post. Setting my priorities was one of my greatest struggles. I was just allowing things to happen tome instead of making things happen. I decided to set my priorities and work at achieving them. I also realize that it also makes life less stressful and chaotic.

    I also struggle with concentration. I can never focus on anything for any periods of time but all that is about to change. Thanks for your inspiring post and encouragement.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Rose, how lovely to see you here. I know of what you speak with priorities and concentration. It’s a work in progress for me every day. And every day is better than the one before. Loving this journey and it sounds as though you are too. 🙂

  6. a great pots ElleSommer!
    indeed, when we do what we really love is a wonderful thing, and is a good use of time. However, in the work you love or goals we will have many different tasks, and generate results with different importance. determine what you really want, purpose in life. is a prerequisite to do before. then determine what needs doing and we need optimize time to do it, and focus on one thing at a time until the completion of the work and then to the other.
    the important thing is to have self-discipline to do all the work on to become a habit.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Chu Bo, love the points you make here, they’re helpful to us all. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂

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