Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. ~ Denis Waitley

No matter how many times you’ve felt crushed by the difficulties life has thrown your way, or the number of times things didn’t work out quite as you planned, love yourself. Steep your every thought in gentleness, kindness and tenderness.

You are a manifestation of incredible power, you are designed to rise above it all. Own it. We can all create something wonderful out of any mess we made.

No matter your age or where you are in your life, these simple practices always apply.

1. Stop fretting

You might not always win, some days the taste of defeat will linger, but with a burning desire to experience a different outcome and a choice to keep controlling your world, in your imagination, your dreams can become realities.

Struggling for the right path, the right way, the right action and worrying about the present will only hinder the delivery of your dream.

For imagination sets the goal ‘picture’ which our automatic mechanism works on. We act, or fail to act, not because of ‘will,’ as is so commonly believed, but because of imagination. ~ Maxwell Maltz

2. Seek silver linings

Looking back over your life you’ll probably see that what seemed like the most awful, horrible, unhappy experience was actually a blessing in disguise. But we begin to add up all those ‘little’ molehill unhappy experiences until they become huge ‘mountains’ in our mind and before too long the silver linings are no longer visible.

They’re still there. You just can’t see them because you’re too busy watching and keeping your attention on the experience and not outcome that you want. Stop this. Let today be the day you seek silver linings.

If clouds are blocking the sun, there will always be a silver lining that reminds me to keep on trying. ~ Matthew Quick. The Silver Linings Playbook

3. Notice joy filled moments

Today I was reminded of how every day, if we’re awake, we’ll experience a moment, or a feeling, or a word that holds us briefly away from the ho-hum mechanical day to day world.

Keep a note of your small moments and as you read over your collection you’ll see a trend emerge. A simple thread of joy running, usually unnoticed, throughout your life. Precious moments filled with tiny blessings, awaiting acknowledgement.

Build a treasury of joy filled moments; notice them, write them down, they’ll nourish your soul during dark days. A gentle reminder that nothing lasts for ever. Not precious moments, not pain and sorrow. But mostly, giving those moments attention means you’ll be attracting more of them.

I would argue that nothing gives life more purpose than the realization that every moment of consciousness is a precious and fragile gift. ~ Steven Pinker

4. The “Mother Teresa Effect.”

Enjoy life. Live it well. Eat, drink, be merry. Travel, seek fame and fortune, lose fortunes only to make them again. Skinny dip, be a pioneer, fall in love, write a great novel, teach, become a captain of industry, encourage, motivate and as you do, as much as possible let kindness be your guiding light.

Don’t come to regret the moments you were less than kind.

Clear away thoughts and deeds that diminish your inner light. Be the one who’s remembered with fondness for some little kindness you bestowed.

You not only enlarge yourself in the process, the very act of kindness results in an incredible boost to your immune system. And amazingly enough, boosts the health of the person to whom you extended kindness. 

Harvard University, called this phenomena The Mother Theresa effect based on studies in Calcutta.

You don’t need scientific evidence to feel the benefits that acts of kindness bring; more joy, greater emotional and physical well being, and a huge spike in optimism. Within you is the same luminosity of spirit that lived in Mother Theresa, nurture and cherish it and you’ll discover that the choices you make begin to make you.

You’ll turn your life around. You’ll be connected to the same power that moves the world.

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. ~ George Sand

In the comments below, let me know me know the biggest aha you gained from today.  If you have additional thoughts I’d love to hear them too!

As always I appreciate you and the fact that you stop by to read my ‘stuff’. You clearly rock!

Encourage one another.

Love Elle




Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Wonderful post – thanks a lot Elle.

    “stop fretting…” – so true and so important. Things don’t always go as planned, sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes things work out differently than planned…

    But, honestly, does it really matter that much? If we keep a cheerful and positive attitude, if we keep on moving forward with all our passion, if we refuse to get discouraged and smile instead… then it doesn’t matter at all – at least not in the long run.

    • Elle

      You’re right Robert…I think we tend to take it all far too seriously. Do you have any extra tips for how you keep discouragement at bay? Would love to hear more…it seems so many people feel discouraged far too much and find it difficult to move past it. 🙂

  2. Hi Elle,
    This is the creme de la creme of your post for me..
    ” Keep a note of your small moments and as you read over your collection you’ll see a trend emerge. A simple thread of joy running, usually unnoticed, throughout your life. Precious moments filled with tiny blessings, awaiting acknowledgement. “…
    I just love the way you put across something so invaluable so succintly.Invaluable,because we all miss the importance of doing whaat you urge us to do.
    Notng down our precious moments,remembering them,thanking life for them.Absolutely right…because life is actually a string of many moments and we can make a lovely rosary once we “bead” our “string” with the right moments.

    • Elle

      Thanks Mona…what a beautiful expression ‘beading our string with the right moments’. Awesome. 🙂

  3. Gotta say I love these two sentences, “Steep your every thought in gentleness, kindness and tenderness.” and “We can all create something wonderful out of any mess we made.”I love your view on life. If people take the time to put your suggestions into play every day, it STICKS better over time. It becomes more of a natural flow in your life.

    Thanks for the reminder sister, it’s always good for me to reset with words like these.

    • Elle

      It is an ongoing practice Melissa and sometimes we stumble and falter and it’s okay because in the next moment we pick ourselves up and do it again. I have found it amazing to watch who I become through simply practicing these habits. So glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂

  4. My husband is always saying to me “You always look for the silver lining don’t you” and I always respond “Why look for the black lining?”. Turn negatives into positives…

    • Elle

      What a great attitude Linda. You must be lovely to be around. 🙂

  5. I love this, Elle, as always! The biggest a-ha moment I had today happened this morning, I was getting my children ready for the day. I usually rush through this process and dread any hiccups in our plans to get out of the house as soon as possible, but today I decided to slow down, breathe and decide to focus on the joy of the chaos. And with that, everything changed. It was amazing.

    • Elle

      It is amazing isn’t it Jessica. We’re able to change so much in our life just be taking a minute to slow down and focus our attention somewhere else. Good for you. 🙂

  6. I’ve learned, in recent years, to see the good in every ‘bad’ situation and know that there is a blessing in it. This is full of wisdom, Elle and I’ve experienced this so I know. 🙂

    • Elle

      Hi Corinne, I think it’s wonderful that you can speak from experience to this. It makes life sooo much happier as we know! 🙂

  7. The power of positive thinking is an amazing thing. I do my best to see everything in a positive light and I find that things go much more smoothly when I can do that!

    • Elle

      Hi Cher – it’s all because the thoughts we think create the energy we radiate…happier energy = happier circumstances. There must be an equation somewhere that says that, but not being that great with math words have to do it for me. 🙂

  8. The one that resonated most with me has to be the 1st one. “Stop fretting.”

    The only thing that we should really be fretting about is whether we are taking the steps to reach our goals each day. Sometimes we move forward, sometimes backward, but so long as we put in the effort to the best of our ability each and every single time, the general trend is going to be forward!

    I have to admit that I do think about the what-ifs at times, even while taking those steps.

    • Elle

      Hi Jeremy nice to have you join the conversation. I think we can all get caught up in what-ifs from time to time, but as you say if we’re moving in the right direction then it’s all good. 🙂

  9. I like the idea of writing down joyful moments and giving them extra attention by focusing on them. It’s processing each to the fullest. Thanks!!

    • Elle

      Hi Sally and thanks for taking the time to join in the conversation. So glad the joyful moments practice resonated with you. 🙂

  10. Elle, what a truly wonderful inspiring post! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful light with the world.
    There is nothing more wonderful than realising the amazing power that lies within each and everyone of us.

    • Elle

      Hi Li-ling you speak true words my friend. Awareness has to come first, before we can operate from that place of power.

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