I know the feeling. When you’re struggling, feeling less than successful and you have no clue what to do when life is falling apart.
You don’t get up every morning and think today is going to be lousy. Nothing will go right and yet that’s what seems to happen. And it’s hard. And it hurts. And it’s no way to live a life.
Truth be told we all have difficult times in life. Times when life is falling apart, in fact when our whole world is falling apart.
I know I have.
Abuse. Deaths of loved ones. Financial and emotional stress. Believe me I know about them…and more.
And I know it’s easy to forget to live life from a place of gratitude simply for the gift of being alive. There’ve been days in my life when I didn’t think it was so much of a gift.
How sad is that?
So dear hearts, if this is you and it feels as though you’ve lost your way…here’s 3 thoughts that helped me to carry on when my life was falling apart.
1. The other side of fear
We all know that running from our fears never works. They always turn up. It isn’t a race any of us can win.
And I discovered after the loss of my husband lo those many years ago that it was those very things I was afraid to look at, to deal with, which were keeping me in a prison of fear.
So shine one little light on one little fear today. Start small, but start. And stop allowing fear to run your future.
Easy to say but how to do is the question, right?
Try a little meditation and quiet the chatter of your inner fear machine, or ground yourself in reality and allow freedom, love and truth to be found…sometimes the light just needs to be turned on.
2. Love what is
When you’re far from winning the game of life try deciding that you’ll just do the best you can right now.
Sometimes the best, if not necessarily the easiest response, is to stop resisting what is. And I know from my own experience this might be the hardest thing you’re called upon to do when life is falling apart.
Our natural inclination is to fight it, to push against it. But ask yourself how well this is working for you.
Acknowledge and honor where you’re hurt and wounded, and look for something good in this moment, in this hour or this day.
Keep track of where your thoughts are leading you and intervene when you can see they’re taking you down a path of misery
You become wise when you decide what you can overlook…when you become aware that you can choose a different thought and one day you’ll discover that life has started to take a new turn.
I know of what I speak…honestly.
3. Use the stop-loss principle
My hubby when dealing with the financial market once gave me some valuable advice.
He always put a stop-loss order on his every trade, so that if the stock should decline beyond a certain level it would automatically be sold and so his losses were limited.
I learned to do this my my fears and worries and when life is falling apart you can do the same.
Make a decision that there’s a point where you will stop exchanging the joy and blessings of life for the fear or worry of what has happened. Or the fear of what your future will hold.
You might choose to allow yourself a certain worrying time.
That’s what I did.
Or allow your mind to only concern itself with 3 things on any one topic.
And after that, then the worry in question has to be put on hold or put in a mental dumpster. No and, ifs or buts.
Remember that life is still happening right now, regardless of where you are in the flow of it.
And it comes with loss, heartbreak and triumphs. It comes with doubts and fear, endings and beginnings.
If you keep dwelling on things that have happened or obsess too much about what might happen you’ll poison the well of your future and miss out on the happiness that awaits you.
So keep on keeping on. Keep growing and keep living.
Put your hand over your heart and feel the beat of life. You may be slap bang in the middle of a storm right now, but you will weather it, as you have the ones before and beyond it is a wiser, more triumphant you.
Trust that.
And encourage one another.
Love Elle
xox
12 Comments
Very helpful advice, Elle. I like applying the “stop-loss” financial principal to life. I’m going to remember that one! 🙂
Glad you enjoyed it Debbie. 🙂
Great suggestions, here Elle. Sometimes when challenges arise, resisting is what can hold a person back. I like your advice to become aware that you can choose a different thought.
It’s true Cathy…we’re at choice for so many things that make our life better, but not in the habit of doing them sadly. 🙂
Elle, I like the third tip best. My Mom had the same advice-except she said set a timer to worry about a certain thing. Beyond that, it does not deserve your energy. Sometimes that helps, but then you know our monkey minds often do not listen to good advice. And when that happens, we suffer for the lapse.
I just love the “stop-loss suggestion. All said and done, we do have the power of choice. Thank you! Love to you!
We often find we have much in common with our Mums Vidya. I love that connection and love to you. 🙂
Love your advice here Elle! Its so doable.
Thank you!
So glad you enjoyed it Zeenat. I like to make things doable, because I like easy…lol. 🙂
These are such helpful ideas, Elle. I like little steps. I also know resisting what is has played a big factor in my life at times. And how brilliant to set aside time for worry and then let it go. Thank you for the encouragement.
Little steps are the way to make the bigger things easy Sandra. At least in my world and it sounds as though it’s true in yours. 🙂
Thank you Ellie for your kindness and compassion.i went to sleep softly crying and woke up searching for a way to stop and carry on with life ….and found your empathy and kindness and workable advice here….thank you for giving me the hope and belief that I can carry on with purpose.
Hi Anna – I’m so sorry you fell asleep crying and I hope and pray that life becomes easier for you with each passing day. Thank you for taking the time to leave your kind comment, it’s very much appreciated. 🙂