I haven’t always practiced self care.  I was never that connected to my needs. It didn’t occur to me that nurturing myself or my spirit was an essential part of living a fulfilling life.

I tended to the needs of others, never realizing I could never be at my best when I never filled myself.  I gave up on my dreams and limited myself to being available to everyone, but me.

Many of us follow this pattern…thinking that fulfillment comes only through giving whilst we give up on the receiving part.

As the old saying goes you can never give what you don’t have and I hadn’t acquired the wisdom to invest in myself.

I didn’t turn myself around until my husband was seriously ill and the nursing sister in the hospital ward where I virtually lived for three months said to me…”You matter too.”

And quoted:

An empty lantern provides no light. Self care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.


What a shock!  I was valuable.  I was significant.  But I was living unconsciously, giving as much of myself as possible to others whilst at the same time giving my subconscious mind all the material it needed to manifest a world where I didn’t matter.

I’m not talking about giving to my sick husband. I would have walked through fire for him. No, I’m talking of years and years of giving to all and sundry and being unable or maybe unwilling to receive, I’m honestly not sure which it was.

I tell you this because I know you struggle with the demons of giving and receiving. Of caring for others or caring for yourself.  As though it’s a contest!

Sometimes we need a wake up call to shake us out of the mindset of being our own worst enemy which is why I want to share with you 3 unusual self care habits that will change your life.

Emotional self care – your self concept

We can never rise above the concept we have of ourself. In other words however we see ourself is the foundation for our thoughts and actions. And your self concept is made up of the stories you’ve told yourself about who you are and we always act as the sort of person we conceive ourselves to be.

It’s time to know your worth and create a healthy relationship with yourself.

Make today the day you decide you are valuable and loved and supported by life in all ways. Always.

Take responsibility for your self concept.  You need to regularly reinforce new ideas of who you are.

You can do this by setting up a regular program to feed yourself with a positive, uplifting, inspiring image of yourself. 

If you include thoughts that aren’t yet true you’ll be rewarded with a new concept of yourself, since you are programming your subconscious mind with these new ideas and it has no ability to reject any ideas you constantly repeat to yourself and will proceed to give expression to them.

All that you manifest in your world occurs in the domain of the subconscious, but first you must consciously imprint it with the state or thing desired.

As Thoreau put so well: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” He knew what he was talking about!

Unusual Self Care Habits That Will Change Your Life

Physical self care

Ask yourself. 

Am I getting enough sleep?

Am I eating enough of the foods that will fuel my body well?

Am I getting enough exercise?

Am I taking care of my health?

You’re asking these question because you understand there’s a strong connection between your body and your mind and as you start to care about your body, to love your body no matter what, you’ll start to have better feeling thoughts.

Your body is an emotional filter and bears the brunt of your emotions and likewise taking care of your body provides you with a higher level of self-esteem so you can enjoy being at peace with yourself in mind body and spirit.

And there’s no doubt about it when you venture into the realm of a body that feels healthy and strong your mood soars and you grow stronger physically, mentally and emotionally.

Spiritual self care

Paying attention to what you feed your mind and spirit is as vital to your growth and wellbeing as paying attention to what you feed your body. 

Step out of your comfort zone and ask your inner self questions, especially the ones that don’t have obvious or easy answers.  

Your willingness to ask deep questions of yourself and your courage to step into the unknown in search of these answers will remind you that you are a divine being.  And within you is the wisdom of the ages and a sacred creative force.

And never, ever fall asleep feeling discouraged. Rather sleep in the feeling of being, having and seeing all you wish to be, possess and see manifested. 

Dropping off to sleep feeling happy and grateful sends your subconscious creative mind into action, to compel conditions and events to appear in your world that confirm these feelings.

Final thoughts

Above all, hold tightly to your values whilst being willing to open your heart and mind to new ideas.  Do this and you will experience far more of life’s magic in your every day life.

And remember, it takes strength to practice new and maybe unusual self care habits. It takes strength to persist when old comfortable habits are easier. 

Be compassionate with yourself, give when you can and receive when you can. This is the balance of the universe and the time will come when you will get it. 

Maybe someone will speak words you’ve never heard before or thought of before, or maybe a quiet voice within will cry out “Enough” and that will be your turning point towards understanding self care is part and parcel of a fulfilling life and an opening of the door for your dreams to become part of your happy future.

Take a look at this short video, where Jada Pinkett-Smith talks about the importance of taking care of yourself, and how, if you do so, you will be able to make those you love very happy. That’s about the best gift you could give.

Enjoy ?

Know somebody who needs a nudge towards greater self care. Give them the inspiration and tools they need by sharing this article.

And we’d love to ‘see’ you in the comments below if you have your own unique self care habits that you practice and would like to share.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


P.S Click the link below for a downloadable self care tips reminder.


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. It took me a long time to fully understand that the results of my life were a result of my beliefs about myself. For too many years, I struggled with feeling like I wasn’t enough which resulted in “not enough” in every aspect of my life (money, relationships, career, etc.). Once I figured out that there was no such thing as “enough” and truly believed it, my life began to fill with abundance. A daily gratitude practice helped me with this.

    Feeding my mind and soul with the right food changed my life. If you don’t focus on and take care of yourself, no one else can do it for you. Great article!

    • I hear you Paige…I’m so happy about your abundant life today and how daily gratitude practices have helped with this. It might be an odd thought for some, but gratitude is actually a self care habit that is simple and quick to do. Glad you enjoyed the article. 🙂

    • Thats an interesting point you bring up! i’m excited to see what changes when i change my beliefs and my inner world 🙂

  2. Very good advice. I like the way you simplified it by breaking it down into the three categories. Each one is important.

    I love the Jada Pinkett-Smith video. I love the point she makes about mothers being expected to sacrifice everything and then expecting our children and men to make us happy. Her message is so on point.

    • That Jada Pinkett-Smith video was pretty cool Debbie and as you say her message about self care was so on point. 🙂

  3. Emotional, physical, and spiritual self-care are all important to maintain. I know I have gone through periods of time when I let myself go and only dealt with what was going on at the time. I remember working full time and being a single mother of three children. It was hard to find the time to take care of myself in any meaningful way. I’ve learned through the years the importance of carving out some time for me. It is the only way I can effectively stay healthy and have something left to give to others. Thanks, Elle!

    • I’m with you there Cathy – I think most mother’s would definitely recognize themselves here. It can definitely be hard to carve time out for ourselves and I’m glad you found the resources in you to take care of you. It’s the only way we can care adequately for others. 🙂

  4. Such a crisp explanation of the three pillars of self care!
    I have found myself criticizing me for expecting to be at the receiving end. Maybe because of all the “give and dont expect something in return” mentality that was rooted in me.
    I think like that nurse acted as an angel for your life, you are doing the same job for others

    • Hi Komal – glad you enjoyed the article and I appreciate your kind words dear one. 🙂

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