Life doesn’t always co-operate, it doesn’t always work out for us, and sometimes that turns out to be not so bad.

If you’re experiencing a huge challenge and there doesn’t seem any way through or round or over, don’t feel too badly about it. Feeling bad just makes matters worse than they need be.

None of us ever accomplished anything truly fantastic without bumping into obstacles and resistance along the way.

Not one of us wants to experience adversity or misfortune and maybe, right now, life isn’t working out the way you wanted. And that might not be as awful as you think.

Misfortune can be an incredible opportunity to notice where we’re stuck in a state of mind that won’t ever lead to fulfilled desires. And adversity could be a wakeup call telling us we’re out of harmony with the life we want.

We’re being give an opportunity to re-evaluate what really matters to us, which forces us to shift our perspective…and it’s this new point of view that shows us how we can better handle our current ‘lifes-not-so-good’ experiences.

Given that up to this point I doubt that any of us have become absolute masters of our universe, adversity and misfortune probably will end up in the mix of our daily life, we simply need to learn how to gain the maximum benefit from it.

Here’s a video that might help when life isn’t working out for you.

1. Wrong perspective on why life isn’t working out for you

Negative experience:

Looking at that giant brick wall looming right in front of you, whilst mentally bashing it with your little fists and stomping those feet, frankly gets you exactly nowhere.  Being vexed, and continuously venting about the things you don’t want, brings you what precisely?  Absolutely right, more of the things you don’t want. Funny how that works, and funny how knowing that, we’re still inclined to do it. Hmmm.

Positive force:  

Be willing to see things differently.

Viewing your challenges less as an obstacle to be overcome and more of an opportunity to hone your ability to keep your focus on the things you desire, makes it much easier to break through into that hugely spectacular experience on the other side. It is there you know.

When our life seems to be going to hell in a hand basket that’s the time to stop, breathe, step back and look at it from a new point of view.


2. You need a hero

Negative experience.

I doubt that there isn’t one among us who hasn’t heard that loud and booming inner voice expressing every little thing that’s not right. Your inner critic is the part of you that judges, belittles and downright demeans you. Having your confidence undermined isn’t all that helpful.

No wonder life isn’t working out out so well when we’re constantly reminded of how badly we should feel about ourselves, especially since the way we think about ourselves really does determine what happens in our world.

Positive force:

Be your own hero.

Find your inner champion… if you can’t find one, begin to create him or her right now. Remind yourself how magnificent and extraordinary you are. It’s time to be very loving with yourself. Very gentle. And each and every day think and speak good thoughts about you.

In his book The Belief Principle Steven Aitchison says something we should all pay attention to:

“Sometimes the way we speak to ourselves is disgraceful. We would never speak to a friend the way we often speak to ourselves. This is why it is so important to think about the way you speak to yourself, as it can have a dramatic impact on your life.”

Take a time out right now and make a list of seven great ways you’re going to choose to see yourself.  They don’t have to be real, you don’t even have to believe them.  But you’re going to pick one a day and repeat it to yourself as often as possible.

Your subconscious mind doesn’t have a clue about what’s real or true and what isn’t. And repetition is a wonder working tool.

I love one of the comments I recently received from Nneka who said that she told herself how awesome she is, often, throughout her day and she accompanies that with a fist bump. Now that’s what I’m talking about. Way to go Nneka.

Imagine having the spirit of encouragement, that you so willingly share with others, be directed towards you. Be less harsh and more generous with yourself and create a personal relationship of inspiration within. It’ll change your life.

3. Misuse of power

Negative experience:

Sadly our attitudes are often filled with negativity and these feelings march us right into our negative future. We are chained to our attitudes, which means unless we use our personal power to make changes, we haven’t a hope in blue blazes of life working out for us the way we’d like.

Yet here we are, with unlimited power at our fingertips, and we’re not experiencing the life we want. Whatssupwiththat? We’re using our personal power against us.  Yes, it works in both directions.

Positive force:

Using our power of attention we can shift our attitudes. The attitude we take to life is an actual physical vibration of energy as real as the chair you’re sitting on and one of the main creative forces in shaping your life experience.

When I was learning to fly a plane one of the first things I had to be taught was the attitude of the plane as it related to the ground.  Pretty important if the instructor didn’t want to end up a squished mess because I mistook up for down.

By directing our attention in the right direction towards the attitudes of success, or joy, or wisdom we begin to draw those qualities to us.

Being aware of the attitude you bring to your life experience today, allows you the opportunity for change and, makes a successful landing more likely.


4. Inner direction for when life isn’t working out for you

We become whatever is programmed within.

If life isn’t working, it isn’t our outer life that needs to be changed, it’s our inner life.  By purposefully directing our focus towards what we want to become, or to have, and by releasing the thoughts that no longer serve, we begin our journey to our new self.

If you doubt yourself, change it.  If you lack confidence or courage, change it.

By dwelling on thoughts of confidence and success you’ll be led to take new and different actions.

In fact if you’re still doing the same stuff, it’s a sure sign you haven’t yet convinced your subconscious to reveal the new you. It’s okay, just stay the course, it must and will happen.

The laws of life operate consistently.  They don’t wake up one morning and say I don’t like this person, they really annoyed me today, or I’m feeling lousy so I’m going to stay in bed and let the world get by without me.

That’s the beauty of the system. It’s consistent and answers our every call.

If you’re ready to become your new self and have a life that works fantastically well, begin to see yourself as powerful, because in truth you are.  How we see ourself is what we become. Always.

By repeatedly seeing yourself as a magnificent, powerful being…you will become one. Write it down, mentally say kind things about yourself, speak wonderful words over your life.

By seeing your life exactly as you want it to be, you experience it.

You’re revising the programming that went before.  You’re standing on the edge of a brand new life, a brand new you.

Are you ready?

It’s always handy and helpful to hear how others deal with life so in the comments below why not share ONE thing you’re willing to do or see differently to get your life working in the great way it can.

Your thoughts could make all the difference in someone’s life.

Thanks for your loving support in reading and sharing.  You most definitely are awesome.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. I think this is one of the reasons why “the law of attraction” has such a large following. Belief is such a powerful thing. If you choose to see yourself as confident, if you choose to accept every fiber of your being, then your actions will follow suit.

    But if it’s only a hollow belief and you don’t follow through nothing will happen. Truly convincing yourself is a process that can only be achieved through seeing the first results.. and even that can be hard.

    I’ve been trying to instill the idea that I’m not powerless, that I have the power to change not only my perception, but through it, the reality that surrounds me. Part of that is accepting that what I have is already not so bad..

    • Elle

      Good for you Ragnar. Some wise someone once told me to be happy with what I have and at the same time be divinely discontented. I took this to mean being grateful for being here with everything that goes with it and continue to seek greater expression of myself in all ways possible.

      And you’re so right about life and growth being an ongoing process. In order to change our inner world we need to apply discipline and dedication…but given that it’s the means to continually lead a greater life…I’m happy with that exchange. Plus, for me, it’s a fun adventure.

  2. Elle, I really enjoyed this post with having different perspectives on taking on life. And how we view ourselves can impact how successful we are in overcoming life’s challenges. Life is constantly happening around us but we have the power to determine how we are going to react to it. Our surroundings, environment, friends and belief systems usually try to dictate how we should feel, respond and at. But we can always change that. It just starts with the intention to change to be our powerful and awesome self. I think you’re suggesting we become the software engineers of our souls ? 🙂

    • Elle

      Isn’t that the truth Vishnu. We are either being outer distracted by what’s going on around us, or inner directed towards the life we actually would like to be living.

      What a great line, software engineers of the soul? Fancy writing a guest post here? 😀

  3. Hi Ellie another great article. I love knowing that I have the power to walk through any challenge. As Byron Katie says “if you were falling from a plane the only thing that would hurt you on the way down is your thoughts”. The lack of courage to believe that statement keeps me in fear and limitation.
    Have a great day Ellie.

    • Elle

      Great quote from Byron Katie, Karen. The 23 empowering quotes I posted recently was amazing to put together and when you see that throughout the ages we’ve been given the information on how vital our thinking is to our sense of well being, it amazes me that we seem to take so long to pay attention.

      Do you have a particular thought you keep returning to in your life, that is leading you towards being or having what you want. Course we always have to ‘be’ first…but you know what I mean. 😀

  4. Challenges can form who we are and who we become. It is how we handle those challenges that will ultimately determine our future. We can hold ourselves back by our negative thoughts. Often it is those times in life when things are not working that we begin to recognize our strength and gain the confidence to move through the bad times to find our inner peace and joy. That’s when I realized my silver lining and I’m sure many feel the same way. Great post, Elle! 🙂

    • Elle

      I’m sure no one appreciates this more than you Cathy. I’m always more and more impressed with how you’ve handled adversity when it showed up in your world.

      Funny how there’s always a morsel of truth in our old sayings, like the clouds and silver linings. I think expecting something wonderful to always turn up, even if it’s eventually, is a great way to set the something wonderful in motion.

      As always my dear friend, there’s diamonds in your words. Thank you for sharing them. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle, I really enjoyed this post, believing in ourselves is so important, if we don’t believe in ourselves how can we expect anyone else too? I have also found that the most challenging negative experiences in my life have turned out to hold the greatest treasures, when my relationship ended and thought I had lost the love of my life some years back, I thought I would never recover from the heartbreak. It turned out that it was this very experience that led to me embarking on my own journey of self-discovery, finding my power within. I awake every morning and I am so grateful for that experience and my relationship ending. That was the opportunity I need to re-evaluate my life although I didn’t see it at the time.

    As you say, we need to direct our focus and thoughts on what we do want and take the first step in the direction of our dreams, when we begin to make the changes within, the outer circumstances will change, make a promise to yourself to believe in yourself and realize your greatness, I would say accept and love yourself completely, take a deep breath and take action toward what you want in your life, we are all wonderful and complete 🙂

    • Elle

      Welcome Clare – how nice to see you here and your comment is filled with such great insight…love it. Belief in ourselves is crucial to our ability to manifest and experience the life we want. I definitely vote for a little more self love for us all. Do you have any techniques to help you keep on track keeping your focus on your desires? 🙂

      • Thanks so much Elle, I have a statement of intention that I write out, I also save it in the notepad of my phone and set a reminder that sounds a little alarm every 2 hours throughout the day, even if I am unable to stop and actually read my statement it brings to mind my desires and therefore to focus on them. Whenever I pass a mirror I give myself a big smile say to myself yes you are great and you are on your way I love you just as you are, if no one is around I also give myself a big thumbs up 🙂

        I always ask myself positive questions, such as what can I do today that will take me one step closer to my dreams? Why is it that I am so good with money? I wonder why inspiration and ideas flow to me so easily? How can I make someone smile today? I got the idea of asking myself better questions from Tony Robbins, in his book Awaken the Giant Within and have practiced it for years, it works!!

        I always try to live in love and happiness and when negative circumstances come up I try to look for the opportunities or the lessons concealed in them, instead of asking why is this happening?, I ask what can I learn from this? What can I gain from this? What is this showing me? It not only takes your focus away from the negative but it helps you look at it in an entirely different way and oftentimes you will see the gift or the opportunity for growth, I believe there are no failures, only opportunities for growth, knowledge, expansion and greater awareness. Oops this reply is getting rather long! Thank you so much for allowing me to share 🙂 xx

        • Elle

          This is brilliant Clare…and never worry about comments being too long…we can all learn and grow from each other’s insights and points of view. And as I say your words are just wonderful. I think I’ve found another soul sister in you. You rock. 🙂

  6. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another great article, Elle !
    The thing I most admire and appreciate about it is that you never employ or embrace fatalism. I have never read you say ” it’s just the way it is” or “sometimes things happen” or any of that other claptrap. Instead, you lovingly remind us that it was our train of thought that delivered us to our current station and that we can choose a different train of thought to take us to a new destination. WE are the ones to revise our programming. WE are the ones to use our power of attention to shift our attitudes. WE are the ones who need to be willing to see things diferently. I AM feeling more empowered just repeating what you wrote ! Thank you !
    Write on, Elle !

    • Elle

      Wow Joseph…you’ve empowered me too. One of these days you’ll write a guest post for us. You have so many perceptive things to share and you put it so much more succinctly than I ever could. I so appreciate you stopping by. 🙂

  7. Wow! what an empowering post and comments! This came at the right time, as I was thinking about the 2 lost opportunities in my life. My life would have been completely different had I taken them and I did not have the information or foresight to see. Plus I listened to my mom on one of them and she said she had the answer, but she did not, so much for that. In the culture I come from, relatives and family tend to screw one over, yet you must sacrifice for them, very silly practices indeed, not wonder there is an economic crisis there. All this stuff catches up.

    I feel like such a loser, but spiritual practice tells us this is false and you so eloquently state that here, along with the commenters. It really helps and I am so glad for this blog!

    • Elle

      Dearest A…there are no losers…we’re all walking the path to greater expression, and our life experiences are merely reflections showing us where we currently are. It’s important to know this, so we can ensure a change of direction if necessary.

      No need to identify ourselves with the results we now have, this isn’t who we are…they’re who we were…and today we’re guiding our thoughts and feelings towards the place we desire to be. It’s time for us all to believe in ourselves, even a little but more will make a huge difference in our life.

      And as to the commenters, you’re right they are absolutely fabulous – it’s really great to have this comment forum to share our ideas and perspectives…we’re all encouraging each other.

      Do you have a technique you use to make sure you keep walking in the direction of your dreams, regardless of what life is telling you right now?

      • Yes, I practice deep appreciation. I support those around me and encourage them as their cheerleader. I write recommendations for people on LinkedIn and take them out when they visit my city. These are uplifting actions which keep the flow going. I also focus on my goals, always doing things to get one step closer to where I am going. I read the periodicals of my science and participate in conversations regarding these topics. I also talk about where I want to go, but only to those who are positive and understanding. I no longer come into contact with negative folk. So, I am more selective with whom I converse. Energy and its use is of utmost importance.

        Thank you very much!

        • Elle

          Love the idea of deep appreciation A. There’s so much to appreciate in our world, including us and our life and what a blessing it is. We are all so much greater than we realize, after all within each of us is a spark of the divine. We are connected and one with the world wide web of consciousness, that creative power that manifests all. Now that’s pretty cool.

          Thanks for sharing your tips with us. We can never know how many in our global community needed to read your words today. ❤⃣ ‿ ❤⃣

    • Hi Zoe, it’s good to connect with you what I would say, is try and remember that you are always right where you need to be, Let go of the opportunities you feel that you have missed in your life that time has now gone, instead try and direct your focus and thoughts on the life you do desire, fill your mind with thoughts of how you want your life to be and feel the happiness you would feel if you were living the life you desire.

      You need to accept where you are now in this moment and more importantly accept and love yourself, say to yourself often, I am wonderful, I accept and love myself just the way I am and I know that I am right where I need to be, to begin creating the wonderful life that I deserve to live. New opportunities will arrive for you and you now have the awareness you need to know the best course of action to take for you, regardless of what others may tell you.
      Never think of yourself as a loser, you are wonderful and you have within you a powerful and magnificent spark of divinity, believe in yourself and believe that you can and will change your life into a life that fills you with joy 🙂

      I am sending you lots of love and hugs x

  8. Hello; This was an inspiring post. I started doing a weekly radio show about five months ago. It is on blog talk and hosted by brian the hammer jackson. He started a friday salloot to small business owners. And I noticed that I started finding positive things to talk about on the show. I eventually told brian that I love coming on his show because I know that something great is going to happen between now and the next time i am on. I think this has really helped me to grow as a person and build my business. And just as an aside when i was growing up my favorite super heroes were under dog and charlie brown. I’m not sure what that says about me, but thought I would share. Thanks for the post and take care, Max

    • Elle

      Welcome Maxwell and thanks for your great contribution to the conversation. I just love how you’re training yourself to expect great things. Our mindset plays a huge part in our life experience and I’m thrilled for you that it’s helping to grow your business.

      Is there any one tip you have that might help someone else in our global community grow themselves and consequently everything else in their world? Would love to hear it. 😀

      • Hello; Thanks for your warm welcome. It is a process as my friend robin hallett teaches. I would say the most important thing is to find that person or those people who uplift and inspire you. Its much easier to have a positive mindset if the people around you are encouraging, supporting, and happy with your progress and success. Of course, you have to be open to meeting these people. The first one I met was a lady named pattie moore. She is a former carnival worker who has started an online business selling custom made aprons and other craft products. We met thorough an ad she placed on a classified site. At that time she was promoting her jewelry, and I was looking for people who wanted list their amusement equipment with me. She took a liking to me and offered to post my equipment listings on her site as i didn’t even have my own website at that time. Our products and target audience couldn’t have been more different, but she reached out; and I accepted her offer. We have remained friends and she is now my most trusted confidant and the person I ask whenever I am struggling with what to do. So, reach out to people and find your community, tribe, or whatever you want to call them. Any success I have is directly a result of having good friends helping me along the way. And that includes my great blogging friends like you. Take care, Max

        • Elle

          What a wonderful response Maxwell. We’re all in this together and funnily enough I was in the process of writing a post which included supporting others and since there are really no others it’s always a win/win situation just like you describe.

          What a fabulous consciousness you have Maxwell…it’s so cool to see it play out in your happy experiences with your business. Thanks for being willing to share with the rest of us. We can all learn from each other. 🙂

          • Hi Elle; I am a little overwelmed by the reply, but I am happy I could do my part to be an example. it hasn’t all been sunshine and light and it never will be nor do i think I would learn as much if it were easier. I just do my best to focus on the positive things. There are always things we can be thankful for if we open our hearts and minds enough to look for them. and please write the post you were thinking of. Some lessons can never be heard often enough. we have to help each other even if we are competitors there will still be chances to help each other and learn from working together. I am always open to cooperating with other equipment resellers, however they tend to be suspicious and teritorial. I look forward to meeting the members of your blog community and seeing how we can help each other reach our goals. if you have a post you want me to read, comment, on, or share; then by all means email it to me. Thanks again for the encouragement and take care, max

          • Elle

            Thanks Max – much appreciate your encouragement to us all. 🙂

  9. I have a hard time being my inner champion and self doubt creeps in a lot. I tend to minimize success and magnify failure. I’m going to make your list of 7 about how I want to/should really see myself.

    • Elle

      Hi Poppy, you are so not alone in this, we are our harshest critics and rarely take the time to acknowledge any of our successes. If we keep on minimizing our accomplishments it’s hardly surprising that they don’t want to stick around…we’re vibrating them right out of our orbit. So I say good for you in being aware of this…this in and of itself deserves a big pat on the back and a huge attagirl. I for one am filled with admiration for your attitude in facing 40, your grit in your exercise programme and I tell you kiddo, anyone who does what you do with chicks deserves a medal. 🙂

  10. Thanks you for that proverbial “kick in the butt” Elle! I needed that! I can’t tell you how that inner voice we all have can help you or really hinder you. You need to be your best champion, and once you embrace this, you can achieve almost anything. Sometimes I don’t even know who it is that is talking to me, doubting myself, etc. I am going to start talking to myself, like I talk to my kids. You can do or be anything!!

    • Elle

      Hi Rae and thanks for stopping by. So true Rae, you tell your kids how great they are and tell yourself, not so much. Good for you that you’re changing up that inner conversation…now I want to know the difference it makes, and when. So keep me posted…please. 🙂

  11. As usual, you are absolutely right, Elle! I found myself surrounded by negativity and was acting negatively myself. That is when I decided to make a change… while I can’t change the negativity around me (family), I can change the negativity within me! I am so much happier!

  12. Very nice post. The one thing I’m willing to do to get my life going in the direction I want is to give up thinking I have nothing to offer others.

    I have always had a hard time allowing myself to connect and befriend others, since I’ve felt like I have nothing to give. I’ve often been a taker and not a giver in my life, especially with social relationships. I’ve been very self centered.

    Instead, I want to give my full love and attention to everyone I meet, regardless of who they are or how similar they are to me. I want to offer my advice, viewpoint, and support freely, and make that a centerpiece of my life.

    If I begin to see my true self as selfless and giving, that will change my life.

    • ElleSommer

      Wow Nick, that is just beautiful. I say go for it. It’ll totally change your life. And you’re absolutely right, the concept we have of ourself is how we show up in the world. I’d love to hear from you on the changes you’re experiencing as you change your way of being. 🙂

  13. I’m sorry, but your life is not working. You said “3 Reasons” but there are clearly 4 reasons. This is making my life harder and more confusing.

    • Hi Amber…thanks for pointing out my error! I clearly made a mistake…but that doesn’t mean life isn’t working out…and even when it’s not, as I wrote here…that’s not always a bad thing. We are all perfectly imperfect dear one. 🙂

  14. Thanks for the information, it is ironic that I use to encourage other people, but not myself. I would give good advice but not follow it myself. My ex use to say I was the dumbest , and smartest person she had ever known. I am going to recall what I use to do,and start doing it for myself. This all came about because I have noticed lately I have been going in circles. I have been told great things will happen for me, that I am special. I will now take that seriously and become who I want to be. Yes, everything happens for a reason, such as this moment right now, once again thank you , and have a great day

    • Hi Chris…go for it…you are totally special and unique and there is no one in the world quite like you. Make life wonderful…because you can and because you deserve it. 🙂

  15. Hi, Ive been laid off 6 times since 2010. I just dont knwo what to do anymore. How an I suppose to have hope for any kind of future when everytime I do I loose my job. Its always due to layoffs. I work in print/publishing, have a bachelor of science in commerical art. Done management, graphic design and prepress. Being middle aged and not having any retirement is really frightening. I just dont know what to do anymore.

    • Hi Susie…I’m so sorry life is so hard right now. Please keep reading the articles we share and put some of the principles into practice in your life. It’s how I’ve turned my life around when everything was going to hell in a hand basket.

  16. zip dideedooda

    Remind myself how magnificent and extraordinary I am??? ?
    Are you kidding me? Lol yeah. That’s going to help so much right now

    • I’m not quite sure what you mean here. But if you’re saying you do remind yourself how magnificent and extraordinary you are, then life must be pretty good for you. If on the other hand you can’t see how that would help you at all, I would just say to you that life follows energy. The concept we have of ourselves is a huge determiner of our life experience. And even if you can’t get to the place of feeling you are magnificent and extraordinary, you could try imagining how it would feel to be the person you’d like to be and experience the things you’d like to experience and see how that works out for you. 🙂

      • Thank you so much for this wonderful thought provoking article. When people are at a windfall and having bad day/week this is exactly what they need to read and I have saved the 7 ways I am going to see myself on my screen saver and read it as much as I can. This is amazing. Thanks for this. It’s a glimmer of hope I needed to see.

        • Hi Bella, thank you for stopping by and I am so happy to hear this article was helpful to you. I wish you every success in your life. 🙂 Elle

  17. Matthew McClure

    This article helped, my life has been terrible but then when I saw this, I thought to myself, “hey, I may be able to release my inner true self,” I can be successful with this and I am glad to read it, I want to be a good person and help as much people as I want, thank you so much and I appreciate this, I can’t wait to be a hero and help people in need, you made my life so much better

    • Hi Matthew, so sorry life has been tough, and I’m sure you can be a hero in life. Especially if this is who you choose to be. 🙂

  18. Such a great point of view. I think we don’t spend enough time being grateful about what we have. Instead we keep running towards getting something we don’t have, which sometimes simply just doesn’t happen! I became super conscious of this recently, and started journalling. Even wrote about it for people that struggle with the concept!
    It’s such an easy way to practice saying thank you for everything we have.

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