Updated April 2023

If you’re tired of tearing yourself down and heaping criticisms on yourself here’s 27 no sweat tips for creating the life you want to live, even if you’re in the midst of struggle or fear or regrets.

You are the master of your destiny…. You can make your life what you want it to be. ~ Napoleon Hill

1. Stop looking for the answers to problems outside of yourself…that’s not where you find them. Working harder, changing jobs, switching relationships, are all temporary fixes that never last. All the answers you need lie within. Take time to sit and be. You might be pleasantly surprised at how much easier problem solving becomes.

2. Success lies in the mental attitude that meets every condition without anxiety. It might take a while, but one day you’ll come to understand that the greatest source of success lies between your ears. If you don’t see yourself as a winner it’s hard to be one.

3. Believe that you can. Believe that you can accomplish your heart’s desire and you can live a great and joy filled life. You can never get to a place you don’t believe exists. And creating the life you want starts with dream. Believe in your dreams, they are gifts of the heart and soul.

4. Mentally create the kind of self that you’d be happy to live with for the rest of your life by picturing yourself being the best you possible, the best you in relationships, the best you in your career, the best you in your financial and spiritual affairs. And then you’re more likely to become it.

5. Continually think in terms of solutions and you’ll gain greater self confidence. With higher levels of confidence you’ll no longer be disheartened by obstacles or difficulties. You’ll be turning your lemons into lemonade.

6. Don’t allow the negative energy of others spill over into your life. Don’t allow their thoughts to become yours. Misery loves company, but so does happiness. Develop the habit of reaching for happiness and spread it everywhere you go. As you do this you’ll find that creating a life you want begins to show up in various different ways. Ways, you might never have thought of.

7. If you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to get started on your day, you don’t have enough goals. Or if you do, they’re not big enough to light your fire. Dream bigger.

8. Some people short change themselves and never reach their full share of accomplishments or realize their huge potential. Life responds not to need but to seed. Plant seeds that please your soul, fulfill your needs and nurture your success. But most of all plant them for the joy of watching them grow and flourish.

9. Start your day with love. When you look back on your life you’ll discover that your best moments, the ones of greatest joy were the moments you did things in the spirit of love. Making choices from a place of fear rarely leads to creating the life you want. They’re much more likely to leave you continuing to feel anxious or scared, and keeps you playing small in life.

10. Like and trust yourself. Be accepting of you who are and don’t feel the need to hide behind a mask. Faking will wear you out. Pretending every day to be what you’re not is exhausting. You are great the way you are, don’t ever let insecurity run your life.

11. Be your own best friend not your worst enemy. Don’t allow the past to undermine your present. Instead of drawing from the mistakes and mishaps of the past, draw from the triumphs and courage you’ve shown. Let those experiences guide you towards creating the life you want.

12. There’s only one piece of the universe you can be sure of improving and that’s yourself. It’s essential to know why you think and do certain things so that tomorrow you can do and think something better. Open up to knowing yourself better and remember your thoughts and feelings aren’t running the show. You are.

13. Don’t let worries bounce around in your head. You’re giving them too much space to grow. Find someone to talk to and let your worries out into the light. Sometimes just venting can help you to see things more clearly. If there’s no one to talk to, write it down. You’d be amazed at how getting it out of your head and down on paper can bring more clarity.

14. Be proud of who you are.  Be proud that you sometimes do things that scare the heck out of you. Be proud of the amazing being that has been knocked over by life and got up and carried on. Be proud that you’re unique in the whole world. Breathe deeply of life, give deeply to life and take happily from it.

15. Be prepared for disappointments. Given that we’re not perfectly in tune with all the best that life has to offer, it’s helpful to find techniques to fall back on when the clouds of disappointment cover your sun. Learn to release disappointment before it turns into bitterness. 

16. Trying to change your life by changing your circumstances will never work. You’re trying to change the effect and not the cause, which is within. Most of us are unaware that our inner conversations are the cause of our circumstances. Don’t be a victim of your self-talk or your beliefs. If they’re not working for you, change them, they’re not set in stone.

17. Do something for someone else every day, however small. The evidence is in that those who give to others in any way shape or form help themselves. Researchers say those who help others live longer more satisfying lives. It promotes well being, and people are attracted to you…from my own personal experience it can transform grief into joy.   Try it.

18. Positive thinking won’t work, unless and until you change the thoughts you have about yourself. Saying I will do better, I will have more money, more success doesn’t work. If you want things to be different, you have to be different. Results only change when you change. 

19. Stop identifying with your failures. Don’t classify yourself as a failure just because something didn’t work out the way you planned You carry this image of yourself into your present activities and into your plans for the future. Failure is temporary, it’s not a dead end, it’s part of the journey to success and it’s never who you are, it’s simply an experience.

20. Make personal development a priority. When you develop yourself to the point where your belief in you is powerful and strong, you’re future will be unlimited. At the end of each day ask yourself what did I do today to develop me? If the answer is not much, you can be sure you’ll get not much in return.

21. Throw away the idea that you can control everything. You can’t. But you don’t have to let circumstances stop you from doing what needs to be done to get what you want. The choice to respond or react is yours. You CAN choose who or what controls how you feel about your experiences!

22. Plan for the future, but not at the expense of the present. Life doesn’t come with any guarantees and the saddest stories of all are of those who put everything off today for the tomorrow that never arrived for them. They never got to enjoy creating the life they wanted. Enjoy the flowers that bloom around you today.

23. Feed yourself with goals and desires that add zest and vitality to your life. Nourish yourself with giving relationships and activities that are exciting and enjoyable and begin to see yourself as successful and happy. You can choose to think of yourself as happy or not, as successful or not. Either way the pattern of your thinking is producing your results.

24. Listen to that nagging feeling deep within that says there’s much more that you could be and do and have. You’ve been put on this earth with amazing capabilities. KNOW there’s something wonderful within you, something more powerful than any obstacle. When you connect to this inner power you connect to possibilities and opportunities that you never saw before.

25. When you face frustration and disappointment in life…and you will…don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed or believe it indicates a lack of ability on your part. Yell, cry, scream if you must, but never allow yourself to be so afraid of loss that you stop taking the chances to experience great gain.

26. Stress isn’t primarily caused by your career or financial or relationship affairs. The real cause is in how you think about these things. Negative thinking causes stress. If you’re feeling stress about anything in this moment, choose to relax and reframe your inner conversations and then give your negative thoughts about the situation the boot and move on.

27. There’s a basic, dynamic law of the universe that you simply can’t get around. Create or disintegrate. You can’t stay where you are. You will move in one direction or another. Discover your purpose, the reason you’re here. Build a vision around your purpose, this is how you put your purpose into action. Then decide what you need to do to get you there and finally go and do it. 

That’s all…

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Absolutely great post to start your day with. This blog post made my day. Thank you very much.
    I want to add one more tip here.
    Circumstances don’t matter in life. Only the state of being does. What that means practically?
    If there is something in life that you wish to achieve , may it be money or a relationship or a job or anything else just imagine the ideal scenario you prefer to manifest in your mind and pet it rise your frequency of your vibration and then just let go of the vision completely and allow tye circumstances to change. But remember to keep the state of being.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Saurabh. Great insights you share here. We can all learn something from you.

      I totally agree with what you have to say. And the last point you made is, for me, the most important one of all. Keep the state of being. Which means you can’t go back and think about things in the same way you would from the old state. Nothing great can come from that. 🙂

  2. Great list of tips, Elle! I especially like #13 on worries. “Find someone to talk to and let your worries out into the light.” is a great reminder. I know when I’m worried, I can get stuck, so I’ve learned to talk it out, so that I can move on.

    I would also add “This too shall pass” which has become my mantra. It helps to know that everything in life is temporary. Enjoy the good times and know that the hard times are not forever. Thanks for the inspiration!!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Cathy. Love your mantra. Just being able to talk to ourselves with such clarity is a really soothing exercise for handling worries. Thank you for the insightful tip. 🙂

  3. This is a wonderful blueprint for happiness and success, Elle. I love how each suggestion goes right to the heart of the matter. I immediately thought I could focus on one a day (like a positive vitamin) and I know I would be aligned with my essence if I were to do so. I completely believe everything depends on our perception so I’m a big fan of #2 in particular, however we personally define success. Thanks for laying out the path for us.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Sandra. It’s so great that you and Joseph came up with the same idea of the monthly focus. (Must be the great minds syndrome!) And your description of a positive vitamin is absolutely stellar. Love it. 🙂

  4. #25 for sure! I find overcoming disappointment is easier when you immediately reach for another goal to complete (even if it’s just a task on your to-do list). Keeps the brain thinking positive! Thanks for the great list.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Ashley. Reaching for another goal, even a small one is a great way to stop that loop of disappointment. Great idea! 🙂

  5. Joseph Appaloosa

    Another fine article, Elle !
    I’m going to paste it on my July calendar and use it as daily exercises !
    What a great monthly challenge . . .
    Write on, Elle !

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Joseph. You and Sandra seem to be at one with the idea of using them for a monthly exercise. Love the way everyone shares their great ideas. That one honestly never occurred to me. But with a new month about to begin…maybe I’ll join you both! 🙂

  6. Elle,
    Beautiful tips that I’ve just printed out for myself and a friend! I love being prepared. That way you can be positive but still be prepared for whatever comes your way!
    Thank you!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Betsy. Thank you for sharing…together we can encourage the whole world. 🙂

  7. Such great tips! Love the reminder to ‘Be your own best friend not your worst enemy.’ I need to be kind to myself today 🙂

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Carolyn. It’s good to get reminders, I know for myself. Usually something turns up when I’m floundering, something I read, something someone says and all I need do is be open to receive. I’m so happy you found one such reminder in this post. 🙂

  8. Beautiful tips that one can very easily incorporate in our daily lives. To hope for the best,yet be prepared for the worst.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Neal. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I think it’s a great practice to imagine something wonderful comes out of all our experiences…even when they seem awful. This really has worked for me throughout the years – it’s amazing how when you look for it, you find it. Glad you enjoyed the post. 🙂

  9. Hi Elle! I enjoyed your blog post and I wanted to reach out to you because I am brand new the world of blogging and like you, I want to share my material with a larger audience. I am in no way promoting myself, but I wanted to see about getting some feedback on my most recent blog entry titled: “Live in the Present, Be in the Present: A Short Guide on How to Embrace the Present Moment.” If you have an opportunity to check it out, I’d be grateful. I reach out because I can tell we have a similar interest in utilizing our unique gifts to empower people.



  10. Hi Elle!

    Thank you for this wonderful post. It’s such a refreshing feeling to read your inspirational posts. I personally love #15. We do have to be prepared for disappointments and be ready to accept them. It is only when we learn how to accept disappointments that we are able to move on and continue on with our goals in life.

    Have a wonderful day! 🙂

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Grace, it’s lovely to hear from you. Funny about #15 and disappointment…one of the things I’ve discovered that often, behind and after the disappointment, something wonderful shows up. Once I started to recognize this and began to look for the wonderful after a disappointment, it pops up, out of the seeming blue! I’m not sure how that works, maybe we find what we’re looking for, all I know is I’m happy that it does and hope the same is true for you. 🙂

  11. Elle, I LOVE this post! (I love all your posts. 🙂 ) All of these are all so fundamental, but I would have to say that #7, waking up with excitement is so important. I think that life begins to fall apart if you don’t. Thank you so much for this. You have such a wonderful way of putting amazing ideas together in one place for easy reference. I might print this out and tape it on my wall!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Jessica. You’re right about these things being the fundamentals, and speaking for myself I sometimes have to go right back to basics because the place I’ll go from there today is entirely different from where I went yesterday. It’s lovely to know that we’re all in this together…I’m creating a board with small reference cards of little thoughts I want to focus on for the week, to remind me of what I know and where I’m going. 🙂

  12. Hi Elle

    I appreciate the simplicity you’ve brought to these suggestions. Less is so often more when giving advice; it’s easier to follow.

    Naturally, I think your invitation to ‘dream bigger’ until you get excited about the future is a great strategy. But we can only effectively dream as big as our self-belief will allow. For that reason, I think your #20 is the core of change. We have to constantly work on our mind to get the best from it – a bit like everything in life.

    Thank you for reading my competition entry. You comment is encouraging.


    • ElleSommer

      Hello Anthony, how lovely to see you. I so agree that belief in ourself is vital…and we all have far too many limiting beliefs about who we are and what we can accomplish. It’s all about awareness and practice really isn’t it? We can read and attend seminars and listen to lectures, but unless we put it into practice, everything remains the same. Thank you for sharing your insights. Hope to see you back again with more of your wisdom in the future. 🙂

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