Hikers with backpacks relaxing on top of a mountain and enjoying

[success]Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. ~ Thomas Jefferson[/success]

Stop sitting on the sidelines cheering for those who are living their dreams. Set a new standard for your own life and commit yourself to your own dreams, your own vision. It’s never too late for a new beginning.

Your journey to a beautiful new day begins by putting a stop to all those things that repress your spirit, and discourage you from taking charge of your destiny and bringing your dreams to life.

Some thoughts to get you started:


1. Participating in unhealthy relationships

Just because someone says all the right things, it doesn’t make them the right person. If they act as if you’re the last thing on their mind, remember it’s better to be alone than feel alone in your relationship. You’ve got to know when it’s time to turn the page. Listen to your head as well as your heart.

2. Focusing on everyone’s story except your own

Sometimes it’s a struggle to be uniquely you. It’s easier to pay attention to others and what’s happening in their life.  You’re a work in progress, but it’s important not to get distracted by being involved in everyone’s business. Instead be willing to wear yourself out with all the opportunities offered to you. You might not always be sure of where you’re going but at least you’ll know you’re on your way.

3. Saying yes to that extra helping or mouthful

Behind the surface of most people you’ll find fear, pain and maybe a little anxiety. There are better ways of dealing with these emotions than eating. You can’t fill up your hungry heart by filling up with food. Don’t eat because you’re unhappy. Don’t eat because you’re excited. It might not always seem like it at the time, but it’s easier to say no to that extra helping than it is to get rid of extra weight and the added burden you have to carry.

4. Creating imaginary hurdles

Why erect hurdles between you and your greatest dreams by imagining things that ‘might’ get in your way. Don’t limit yourself before you even begin. Keep your eyes on the finish line and don’t allow your fears and doubts to create obstacles where none might exist. Believe with everything you’ve got that your desire is just waiting for you to catch up to it.

5. Being afraid to make mistakes

A mistake made is a lesson learned. How can you ever learn and grow without trying out new things. And how can you try out new things without sometimes getting them wrong. Throw yourself into life; mistakes and failures are a pesky part of being human.  Embrace life…There is no other way to learn how to live. Think about a time when what seemed like a huge mistake turned out to be a big blessing in disguise.

6. Over-complicating life

Simply begin with how to make tomorrow better than today. Begin at the beginning. Start something. Finish what needs to be finished. Move your dreams into today and begin to live them and you’ll steadily begin to fulfill them. Instead of seeing things as difficult, focus your energy on what’s good and valuable and grow it. Life is a series of little lives lived each day. Stay focused on today and be proud of the progress you’re making.

7. Living to impress

Don’t be the person who wears a mask to impress others with who they’re not. Dare to be genuine and authentic, however frightening that might be, and you’ll discover the people who love you for who you are, are genuine and authentic too. We can never really hide who we are, our very life experience reveals us to anyone with eyes to see. So open yourself up; there’s nothing more beautifully endearing than someone totally willing to be real.

8. Forgetting to appreciate those who love you

It’s  easy to take for granted those who are always there for us.

We don’t always have tomorrow. Our loved ones’ don’t always have tomorrow. Don’t wait to tell someone how much they mean to you, how you appreciate all they’ve done and what it’s meant to have them in your life. Use the time you have to give and love and be truly kind.

9. Letting negativity win

We’re all hypnotized by the beliefs we hold to be true and the ideas we’ve uncritically accepted. What matters is whether those beliefs are negative or positive. You can’t live a positive life when you constantly reinforce your negative beliefs by continuing to repeat them. Love yourself enough to break the cycle of thinking negative thoughts. Once you replace a negative thought with a positive one, your results will be outstandingly, amazingly positive.

10. Wasting your days

It’s all to easy to let days drift by with good intentions but few accomplishments. Each day choose to do one good thing for your spirit, one good thing for your body and one good thing for someone else. Then every day regardless of how that day turned out, you’ll still have a wonderful sense of having accomplished something worthwhile. You might not be able to do everything, but you can do something, make that something worth doing.

11. Holding on to grudges and regrets

Life isn’t long enough to be filled with regrets and grudges. Forget about the people who haven’t treated you well, and value those who have. When you get a chance for a new beginning take it and avoid taking the grudges and regrets with you. Don’t allow them to keep being a factor in your current life.

12. Expecting the worst

Your expectations are like a magnet opening and closing off the supply of all you desire. Expect great things, work towards them and the doors of abundance will open. It might be easier to expect little in the hopes of not being disappointed, but what a small life that would make. You are designed for much bigger things.

13. Waiting for opportunities

You can wait forever for opportunity to knock. You are the maker of opportunities. Knock on the door and it will be answered. Develop yourself by preparing the way for new possibilities and when they arrive, seize them.  In every beautiful day there are hundreds of opportunities to take your life in the direction you want it to go.

14. Letting poison into your life

You wouldn’t accept a cup of coffee with poison in it, even if it came from your best friend. Doesn’t matter who gives you the poisoned cup, it’s still going to cause a problem. Break free from those who would poison your mind or spirit with all that’s wrong in the world. Guard your mind and don’t let anyone dump just anything in there. You’re the one who has to live with the results.

Got more tips or thoughts on things to stop saying or doing to yourself?  Tell me all about it in the comments below.

As always, thank you so much for reading and contributing!

If you have a friend that needs some encouragement to stop doing things that interfere with creating their best life, forward this post to them. They’ll thank you for it!

Encourage one another.

Love Elle



Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Thanks for the great list. I can definitely relate to 1, 10, and 11. Thankfully, 1 and eleven I have rid myself of. Number 10 is a hard one. It is so easy to waste our day in front of the tv or computer on social media or something else. I love it when you can go to bed at night knowing that you accomplished some things that will help you move toward your goals.

    • Elle

      I know what you mean about wasting time on the computer Sebastian…it’s one I’m always working on myself. Better some days than others, still a work in progress and I so agree with how good it feels at the end of the day when you’ve made movement towards your happy outcome. 🙂

  2. Point #2 is definitely a reminder. So many times I got involved with other people’s business, helping out their things by sacrificing my own. Got a wake up call when I finally got betrayed.

    Point #7 is also anther observation. Too many people live to impress those who don’t even care. They are afraid to say the wrong things so they don’t say. They are afraid of being scrutinised so they don’t lead. We are actually missing out a lot of good leaders.

    • Elle

      Hi Joe, wow, you make great additions to what I had to say. That last one about missing out on good leaders is a winner. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Joe. You are appreciated. 🙂

  3. Charmy Dafda

    Thank you so much for writing this. It is truly enlightening and relieving. I feel so light after reading it. Seems like a friend is speaking to me and guiding me out of the blues. 🙂 I loved it so much, that I’ve written the points down on a paper and pasted it on a wall of my room.
    Thanks so much again. 😀

    • Elle

      Hi Charmy, I’m truly happy you enjoyed it. I’m glad to be your friend. 🙂

  4. Wow! so much great advice! What a great reminder to live a life with intention and fully enjoy it! Your points are so important for this and I love how you lined it all up. Thanks 🙂

    • Elle

      Glad you liked it Melissa. Thanks for stopping by and letting me know…I so appreciate it. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle ,
    I like what you say about appreciation.
    The highest form of improving and benefiting from interpersonal interaction is to appreciate at every step possible.It’s a challenge which few are willing to take.Bungee jumping and sky diving sound hep and adventurous.Not this.Is it because the ego is directly involved?
    When you search for something worth appreciating you will find many a small and big gems hidden within every one.It’s like some wise one said,”look for the diamond within the raw mine inside each person”.I think that spells it.Every one has a huge store of good qualities worth appreciating.Yet we do little justice to them,by forgetting to appreciate them.

    Appreciation can be internal ,that is ,non verbalized. This kind of appreciation is implicit admiration only.Yet the best form of appreciation is the verbalized,expressed variety ,which generates strong vibrations of acknowledgement and validation.


    • Elle

      I must say bungee jumping and skydiving aren’t things that I actually want to do Mona. However, I do get that for some people they’re a great thrill. I like your thoughts about not doing justice by forgetting to appreciate them. It’s a little thing with huge consequences. 🙂

  6. Yep, I procrastinate procrastinating…I sit here and start my day with my cup of coffee and look up and it’s lunchtime! Gotta set that timer and get a move on.

    • Elle

      As a ‘recovering’ procrastinator I know just what you mean. Although Linda, knowing you, you’ve stepped into your kitchen to produce another glamorous offering for us ‘foodies’ to drool over! 🙂

  7. Elle, this comes at a time where I have something I want to accomplish but am not entirely comfortable. Your words of wisdom seriously help – thank you!!

    • Elle

      I’m so happy the article helped Cher. I’ve just come through something really uncomfortable too, but I knew if I didn’t do it anyway I’d be getting in the way of my growth. I’m working on ways to eliminate the level of discomfort tho’ for future reference. Will keep you posted when I come up with something that really works! 🙂

  8. Oh, yes! Numbers 7 and 10 are my stumbling blocks. For years I wanted so much to be the person that I did not believe I was. I wore a mask to hide my insecurity. Talked too much and knew too much. I became adept at telling all and sundry what exactly was wrong with them.

    It’s been a long journey to the really wonderful person that I am today. Using the Law as your compass instead of your Ego makes for a much happier life.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Dore – what a wonderful journey life is. I’m truly happy that you’re now the person you always knew you could be. 🙂

  9. This was a great article. I really agree with #8 ( not taking loved ones for granted ) they could be gone in a blink of an eye. My Uncle Mikey had cancer 2years ago he was in remission, took cats and every 6 months, just took one 2 months ago and was cleared -meaning he had no cancer in his lungs. The Drs. thought he had pneumonia and the antibiotics didn’t work so they changed them& put him in rehab because his legs got weak from being in bed for 2 weeks. I found out when my Dad had lung cancer, I not sure which time ( he beat it twice) that for every day you spend in bed it takes a week to recover, this is for older patients or patients who are in comas. Anyways,My Uncle ., the rehab after a few days and x-rays they sent him back to the hospital, he was put on a respirator, my Aunt slept up there every night with him, did everything for him. Their 4 kids took shifts staying up there. On June 27, 2017 my Uncle crossed over to be with the Lord.It was 1day before my Mother ‘s birthday, Mikey was her older brother. The whole thing is heartbreaking. The radiologist obviously didn’t read the report correctly because he had cancer in the lung he had in in last time everywhere and the other lung was also completely covered by cancer as well . At least he is with his son who passed 37 years ago at 18 years old., and his brother and sister,Mom&Dad. Thank you for your great article,again. I feel like it really helped sooo much. God bless you!!!

    • I’m so sorry for your loss Sherri…and it reminds us all yet again that we should never take those we love for granted. Things can change in a blink of an eye, so let’s love as much as possible and bring joy where ever we can. 🙂

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