victim of circumstancesDeep down inside, most of us know that we arrived on this earth with amazing capabilities.

The great ones among us absolutely believed that they were put on this earth to do something wonderful with their lives.

They had a vision of something greater or better than their current circumstances.

What about you?

What would it take to empower you to stick with your dreams and no longer be a victim of circumstances?

1. Conviction

Have a sense of your larger destiny, together with a conviction that you are only limited by the thoughts you think and the beliefs that hold you back and you’ll begin to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Your strengths are key to your success, pay attention to them. Get to know yourself and the door to your destiny is unlocked.

2. Stop the non essential

List 3 things that you can do today that will make a difference in your life, or, give you a sense of accomplishment, or contentment, or just leave you feeling good about yourself.  Then go and do them first before anything else.

3. Handle rejection

When you’re not getting the responses you’d like, don’t assume no one cares. Look for two or three other reasons why things didn’t work out the way you wanted. You’ll feel much happier.

4. Develop confidence

To develop unshakable self confidence, how you see yourself is vital. Think of yourself as a leader, and you’ll do what leaders do. No more victimhood for you when you’re inspiring others to be the best they can be.

Stretch yourself toward the outermost boundaries of what you believe you can do. You’re capable of amazing things.

5. Manage Problems

Seemingly impossible problems can be solved when you get clear that you are bigger than any problem.

You can grow yourself and decide to view those impossible problems as just a hard decision waiting for you to make.

6. Be your very best

You need to have desires or goals that draw out of you the very best that’s within. Working towards big dreams creates a sense of mastery.    It’s easy.    It begins with a notepad, a pen, and you.

Physically writing things down adds a powerful energy.

7. Be willing to be wrong

stop fighting life

Far too often we’re in a fight to be right. Yet the willingness to be wrong is one of the greatest means of growth, increasing our level of awareness as we learn different perspectives or opinions.

The smartest way to be right is to know when you’re wrong. You’ll find it a great relief.

8. Become an encourager

Find the best in yourself and encourage it’s growth.

Believe in the best in others.

This isn’t to say that life doesn’t sometimes bring pain and disappointment. But the best thing you can do is to practice the kind of optimism that opens the door to wonderful things for you and everyone you come into contact with.

9. Like yourself

Don’t create drama and big storms in life and be surprised when lightening strikes. When you don’t think you deserve the good things of life, when you don’t like yourself, you tend to self sabotage without even being aware you’re doing it.

Remember, the thoughts and feelings you have about yourself will eventually be mirrored in your outer reality.

10. Don’t underestimate your ability

Nothing makes life more difficult than a habit of over estimating the problem facing us and under estimating our ability to handle it. If you practice thinking that what you have to do is easy, regardless of how it seems to be, you’ll find it becomes so.

I practice this in little ways, like parallel parking! When I start to tell myself, it’s easy…it becomes so.

11. Ask great questions

Unless you’re willing to accept the answer, don’t ask the question. But, if you’re brave enough, ask yourself  what’s really important to me, and then make that the centre piece of your life. Who knows you might find the very thing you’re ‘called to do’.

Your greatest tool for growth and success lies in the quality of questions you ask. How cool is that?

12. Spiritually speaking

Practice thankfulness.

When I was a kid, before every meal we were taught to say, ‘thank you for what we’re about to receive’. It’s a great habit to practice in life.

Give thanks for the dream that isn’t yet visible, because you’re thankful you’re about to receive it. Be thankful for that extra cash, or slimmer, healthier body, or that amazing relationship or greater peace of mind.

Thankfulness trains your mind to expect the best.

Questions: Which of these simple tweaks do you believe might make a difference in your world?  Or which ones do you currently use in your life? I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments below.

I’m so grateful for your presence and encouragement. You are amazing.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Stop the Non-Essential is the one I’m working on Elle. Distraction is tempting! I’m doing pretty good though and I love the idea of picking three things to focus on every day. That’s a handy tool for saying on track.

    • ElleSommer

      Oh me too Sandra…I’m trying out various tools to work on not being so easily distracted…do let me know what works for you. 🙂

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Erynn – I’m truly happy you enjoyed it. How cool that you love the blog…I love writing the articles…we’re a great fit! 🙂

  2. This is a great list Elle. It’s very easy to put ourselves in victim mode when we encounter circumstances that make us uncomfortable, but it’s so important to practice the points you mention here. The one I like to practice and remind myself most is to be thankful. I notice when I pay more attention to the good in my life, I will feel less like a victim. Thanks for always inspiring!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Edith…thankfulness is such a powerful place to operate from isn’t it? I’m happy you have some techniques to fall back on when circumstances knock us off our feet which is why practicing it daily makes it easier to turn too when we’re being tested. Yay for you. 🙂

  3. Awesome post. I love them all and believe they all are needed in my life as I continue to work on becoming a better version of myself. Thanks for a wonderful post.

    • ElleSommer

      Hello there Rose, lovely to ‘see’ you again. And thanks for stopping by and letting me know you enjoyed the article. So encouraging and I appreciate it. 🙂

      • Mam i just want to know how to replace negative thoughts with positive ones

        • Hi Madhu, the way I started was simply to begin being more aware of when I had a thought that didn’t feel good and replaced it with one that felt better. Maybe if you have a thought that is critical of yourself – you could find something good about you that you could pay attention to instead. That’s the beginning of switching the negative for the more positive. And how you can stop being a victim of circumstances. One thought at a time. Good luck my friend. 🙂

  4. Hi, Thanks for always sharing a very encouraging post. True indeed that “The smartest way to be right is to know when you’re wrong. You’ll find it a great relief”, sometimes we cannot accept that we made a mistake but learning from this mistakes can lead us to a far better place in life. Great Read!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Sherill, you make a really good point that it can feel hard sometimes to accept we’re wrong or we’ve made a mistake, but once we choose that it’s easy to let this stuff go it does lead us onward and upward. Sounds like you’ve got this well in hand! 🙂

  5. Really useful thought as usual Elle. Actually this is the one that I find makes the most difference; It begins with a notepad, a pen, and you. Most days I leave the computer and phone behind and go get a cup of coffee and sit with just a notepad and pen and think about the direction I’m going in with whatever project is on the go – or about where I’m going in life in general sometimes – and the answer usually gets written down in that scrappy notebook
    Technology is a great aid for DOING, but pen and paper for THINKING anytime

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Mark, we’re so in synch on this one. I’m often better with a pen and paper, it allows the creative juices to flow that much more freely. And I love your idea that when you’re ready to think about where you’re going, sitting down with said pen and paper is a great aid. It’s pretty easy to distract me, so a simple method of giving myself time to think works really well. Fabulous thought Mark. 🙂

  6. This is really uplifting. Short but so powerful. Thanks for sharing this message. Have an awesome weekend. As usual, your posts are thought provoking

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Ikechi, always happy to hear from you. And I appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. A big thank you. 🙂

  7. Thank you Elle. The more I try to know myself, the more reasons I discover to like myself. This is phenomenal because I have nothing to lose in the process and have so much to learn, absorb and disseminate. There is an incredibly larger self to me and every time I think of that, it opens a new layer of my existence. This is like touching the surface of the still water and imagining how deep and vast the vibrations can go. Oh! circumstances become fictional to this reality.

    • ElleSommer

      Welcome Asti – that is fantastic. Discovering the essence of who you are and realizing you are so much more than what can be seen is a truly amazing journey. I remember reading that there is no fiction…it forms part of our realities in one way or another, so what you say makes perfect sense in that context. Would love to hear more from you. 🙂

  8. Robin Scandrett

    Thank you Elle, just on the two sentences; the first one brings to mind the presence of a greater power than us and that he is close to us, that he wants the best for us and for us to reach out and make something of ourselves; and the second one flows from it – to encourage our fellow man to do the same so we all reach journey’s end together.

    • Hi Robin…thank you for sharing your lovely words of wisdom. I so appreciate them and I know they will be helpful to others in our community. 🙂

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