[success]The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential…these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. ~ Confucius[/success]

At the end of the day, our biggest regrets turn out to be those chances we ignored, the words we didn’t say, the opportunities we were too afraid to say yes to.

Don’t waste time beating yourself up. We’ve all missed the boat on something and we’re still here, which means we have another day and another opportunity to create less regrets down the road.

Today someone is going to take a chance on something or someone new. It could be you.

Don’t let your chance go by, you can make it if you reach for it. Don’t be so afraid to take a risk that you lose out on the wonderful things that are waiting for you.

Be the first to touch the sky. Be the first one in line for love and laughter.  Try a little harder every day.

It’s time to lead the exceptional life you are destined to have. Here’s eleven ways to get started.

1. Decide for yourself

Sometimes you’ll disappoint others. Don’t jump to the conclusion that you’re deficient in some way. The reality is if someone expects you to have a quality or abilities that you don’t seem to have maybe you’re not interested in being the person with that particular skill set, or it’s just not important to you.

Don’t let others decide what’s important in your world. Give yourself a chance to look at the big picture and decide, without judgement, what matters most. Then you can consciously choose what you want to do about it.

2. Know you matter

Everything matters. Everything you think. Everything you do. Everything you are.

In each moment, with each decision you affect the people around you. With each choice you make your world changes in thousands of unseen ways and within you is the power to keep making all the changes you need to live an exceptional life.

You have gifts to give and you might never know the blessing you gave another with merely a kind word or a friendly smile.  Go in search of your dreams with a happy heart, you have a contribution to bring to the world…you have the power to alter reality. You are a force for good when you release the power and value you bring to the world. You are exceptional…own it.

3. Change your perspective

What if you turned everything around on its head and viewed it from the opposite perspective. So every difficulty is an opportunity. Every hurtful, impossible situation is a chance to grow.

Stop viewing adversity through the eyes of fear it only magnifies every problem far beyond it’s real size. Begin to view challenges through the eyes of capability, of promise, of fulfilled desires.

Remember the real difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.

4. Free yourself

The more rules you have, how people must be, how life must be, what you must have, who you must be, what you must achieve, what must happen before you can be happy, the greater chance you’ve got of being miserable.

When you release your need to control every aspect of your life you’ll be free to enjoy it. You’re worthy of your freedom…it’s time to taste it, to enjoy it, to fly. Not everyone will choose to fly with you, be okay with that. Far too many of us have let our fear of  failure conquer our desire to live a wonderful, exceptional life.

5. Stop taking it all so seriously

Your mind tries to make out that everything is really, really serious. Living an exceptional life doesn’t mean you have to drag yourself through it. Focus on what’s good for your heart and the fun will follow.

You really don’t have to carry the worries of the world on your shoulders, but if it sometimes feels like you are, the best way to lighten the load is to do good.

Doing good does you good. If you do a little good every day you’ll soon find your heart is no longer heavy, it’s lightly filled with joy. You can make positive changes in the world by connecting to goodness. It’s all the little bits of good that get done in the world that help transform it.

6. Let today be your day

Let this be the day you step out of the ordinary and choose extraordinary.

Let today be the day you release yourself from the past.

Let today be the day you let go of pain and sorrow.

Let today be the day you take control of your mind, of your life.

Let today be the day you find hope in the hopeless.

Let today be the day you accept your capacity to change your world. The day you choose happy. The day you forgive more easily. The day you fall asleep feeling all is well in your world.

7. Look out for your best interests

Most of us find it easy to fall into behaviours and thoughts that are comfortable, thoughts that we’re used to, that are easy, and then we stay there. We’re too afraid to say yes to new possibilities so every day we add to the habits that lead to us to staying exactly where we are.

We’re settling for less than we deserve, less than we’re truly capable of and all the while we complain about the effect it has on our life while continuing to ignore the cause.

Don’t keep choosing the safe and familiar, the tv instead of development. Just because it’s easier and more comfortable, doesn’t mean it’s in your best interests. You deserve better.

8. Bring peace

Every one of us is in relationships with family with friends, with fellow passengers on planes, people we drive alongside with on highways, in grocery stores, in line for movies, on trains, buses and places we visit. We interact with each other all the time.

To experience the happiest, most powerful and fulfilling way to relate, let your higher sacred self rule your life. This self wants you to always be at peace, no matter the circumstances. So when you have a choice, and you always have a choice, practice being kind rather than right. Needing to be right brings more stress, anxiety and fear into your world. You don’t need this.

When dealing with angry, frazzled or hassled peeps do your best to be kind, even when your ego demands you get better or quicker or friendlier service.

Bring friendship instead of animosity, bring peace instead of strife and you’ll discover that living happily ever after isn’t such a myth after all and even better you’ll feel really, really great by not setting yourself up for additional stress.

9. Direct your thoughts

Imagination is what allows you to envision all that you desire, and attention is the power by which it is manifested.

Nothing is beyond the reach of your imagination. Great visions can be created, wonderful, brilliant futures can be lived, successful, joyous experiences can be had. But without the power of attention, none of them will manifest in your world.

Own your life, be responsible for all you think and believe, and be especially attentive to your desires; you’ve been blessed with the ability to bring them to life. They deserve your attention.

10. Shake it off

It’s easy to allow the wrong people to slide into our lives. And inch by inch they take us off track sowing doubt and fear along the way. Don’t allow those who consistently spread pessimism and mockery to be the voices of influence in your world.

We’ve all experienced those whose main role in life seems to be to criticize and make wrong every decision or every choice we make. It’s time to shake them off, they’re damaging your chances of living a positive, happy life.

You need to protect yourself from the naysayers they’ll make your progress towards a rich fulfilling life far too difficult.

11. Take control where you can

Trying to control all of life ends up with life controlling you. Not everything is within your jurisdiction, but much is.

You can control who you share your energy with, how you choose to use your time, what food you decide to eat, whether to invest or spend or share your money. You can decide what to study or immerse yourself in that develops you as an individual.

You are free to choose how to manage difficult experiences, whether to view the world as negative or positive. And most importantly you can choose what ideas to think from. Progress in life stems from having new ideas from which to think, which lead to new thoughts and new actions.

In other words keep control of the power to create your life, trust in yourself and listen to the voice of your heart…and those beautiful dreams of yours have a chance of coming true.

I’d love to hear your take. With so many paths and perspectives on life, I’m interested to hear what works for you. Please share your experiences in the comments below. I’m keen to learn from you…your ideas could spark a breakthrough for us all.

If you enjoyed this article, please share on your favorite social network. Each share or like helps to reach more people who might be looking for a little practical and positive encouragement in their life. We’re all in this together.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author of 4 books and a workbook. Her latest publications are a series called The Power of Consciousness, and you will find all three books in this trilogy now available on Kindle. She shares quotes, inspiration and positive vibes on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. And her greatest desire is to encourage and inspire others to create not just a good life, but a phenomenal life.


  1. Dear Elle,

    I especially relate to freeing ourselves from too many rules and not taking things too seriously! I try to remember that everything is impermanent so it’s a bit insane to take it too seriously. At the same time, we have a responsibility to act with integrity for our own benefit and the benefit of others. When I can find a good balance between these two, I’m able to live with a bit more spaciousness and ease.

    • ElleSommer

      Ooooh I like that Sandra. Living with spaciousness and ease. A great thing for us all to strive for. 🙂

  2. Thanks for another great post. I truly enjoyed reading it and will definitely be applying some of those to my life. I enjoyed particularly #11 where I can take control where I can. I tend to believe I have everything under control and when things fall apart it is all because of me.. I feel bad about my self and thing all the horrible things I can think about why this happen many times forgetting that sometimes things are not under my control and there is nothing I could do to prevent certain things.

    Thanks again for reminding me that I am still a work in progress and like everyone else, I am going to mess up and fall.

    Thanks again

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Rosa…it’s nice to meet you and welcome to the club where we all mess up and get stuff wrong! The good news, tomorrow is always another day and we get a sort of do-over. Hope you keep joining in the conversation.

  3. Hi Elle,

    You have given us some great tips here. I especially like the idea of not letting our fear of failure conquer our desire to live an exceptional life. I’ve made mistakes like everyone else in my life, but moving forward, facing my fear and creating my own vision of what I want has made me feel that my life has meaning and purpose. I also agree that we can’t take things too seriously. We all need to enjoy the ride. Thanks!

    • ElleSommer

      It isn’t always easy, is it Cathy? This ride we’re all on. But like you, if I keep putting one foot in front of the other and know where I’m heading it seems to make it flow better. And being able to laugh when I mess up…and just keep on keeping on makes it easier on my heart. 🙂

  4. Hi Elle!

    A post shared by a friend on G+ directed me here.
    All I can say is “Wow”! I found a new place for new inspirations / motivations. And I guess I’ll be visiting more often, your blog will be very helpful on me, recently I’ve been too confused and don’t know which and what ways to follow, more of a feeling like I’m lost.

    I appreciate how you put all these in the list, but I can’t help not to stop for a while on #6.
    It’s what I really have to apply on myself, I hate the feeling like I’m stuck with something from the past or something like that.. Moving on.. yeah, I like to associate it with the #6 topic. 🙂 I’ll let “today” as my day— day by day 🙂

    Thanks Elle!

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Jhem, lovely to meet you and welcome to the community. You’re not alone in feeling lost dear one…it happens to the best of us at various times in our life and choosing just one thing every day to focus on that’s positive about you, about your life, something you’re grateful for can help a lot. I’ve definitely had to do this myself more than once throughout life. We’re a community of encouragers and are always here for you. 🙂

      • Oh thanks heaps, Elle!

        Your words are very powerful, you’ve got me convinced in every way. 🙂

  5. Hi Elle!

    What a wonderful post! I’ve always believed in that our thoughts and imagination can take us to great heights ,all of us can make a difference and that every difficulty can be used as an opportunity. Besides, while we are never comfortable with our fears and shortcomings, I now find that facing the fears and getting out of our comfort zone is what is required in order to become much more greater than we ever imagined!

    I view your point of ‘free yourself’ as similar to removing the concept of perfection from our life. I’d struggled with perfection for much time, wanting everything and everyone including myself to be the way I want. Now that I’ve become more or less open to imperfections and changes in life, I’m able to understand what a truly liberating experience it is!

    • ElleSommer

      Hello Atiba, as a recovering perfectionist I know of what you speak! It’s amazing how much easier and more flowing life becomes when we release the impossible, such as being perfect. It’s never going to happen. And you know what, just being aware of that allows me to feel even happier than ever. Kudos to you for being ‘liberated’. Love that. 🙂

      • What you say is very true. While initially the thought that there are things in life which you can’t control seems very frustrating, once you are able to accept this fact, life becomes much more easier, happier and peaceful. You stop focusing on unnecessary things and harvesting negative energy, and start focusing on what can be truly worked upon.

        • ElleSommer

          Hi Atiba, love that phrase, harvesting energy. Seems like a great way to focus our attention on what we want and where we’re going. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. 🙂

          • Thank you! I hadn’t realised the true significance of what I said! 😀

            And thanks for sharing these great tips to be exceptional. Have a great day!

    • ElleSommer

      Me too Kathryn, me too. Sounds like we’re members of the same club! 🙂

  6. I really love reading your post, it is always very uplifting and very inspiring. So true that we must try to view challenges through the eyes of capability, of promise, of fulfilled desires. Thanks for sharing a great article.

    • ElleSommer

      Hi Lynne, lovely to hear from you again. We all need some encouragement and a sense of being supported…it makes life so much easier and joyful and I’m happy to do my little bit! 🙂

  7. Thank you ElleSommer, you write very long and very good information.
    I want add more my opinion on how I have my life and that is: I always focus on positive, good future and I effort each day to follow my dream, I always ask people what you will do with your free time or part time? I have a job and I do things I love and passion in part time or free time. I always try to do things with my best, trust to help things or other people, always be kind person with other people because I like peace and live with love. So it is way people can treat with me back. I always remind I need improve myself to deserve or fit with level of success if I want success at some thing, and I don’t pursue it, only try to do with my best and improve my best, only think results as rest of parts. I also practice live with happy moment, enjoy moment because I still have some bad habits need to change. I also hope people find their way to live with happy and best.
    Thank for your great post again.

    • ElleSommer

      Great advice Chu Nam…finding our way to live the best life possible for us is definitely something worth pursuing. 🙂

  8. Ruth E Smith

    Elle, I am always looking for ways to encourage people to live up to their full potential. What you have said here I know for myself you speak the truth, because of what I have experienced in my life. I intend to share it with others. Thank you so much for sharing it with me.

    It is always so inspiring to be able to relate to what one reads. Especially when they feel apart of you. Matthew 18:20 New International Version (NIV)
    20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

    Blessings to you my friend,

    Ruth E Smith

    • Hi Ruth, lovely to have you here and I’m happy you enjoyed the article and thank you for sharing. 🙂

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