Can I guess?
When you started that relationship, that career, that lifestyle you thought you were making the best choices in the world.
Everything would fall into place.
Except it didn’t. Not always.
And here you are today.
Maybe your career turned out to be duller than ditchwater.
And that soulmate you thought you’d found turned out to be a real dud.
In fact many of the things that you thought would be like a happy stroll through the park turned out to be just the opposite. And life is beginning to freak you out because it never turns out the way you want. What’s up with that?
The problem is that you haven’t set your life up to be truly beneficial…just superficial.
So if life is freaking you out right now you might find the reasons right here…
1. You spend too much time dwelling on your failures. If you want to be successful at anything, you need to be dwelling on the successes of you life. And yes, once you look, you’ll find plenty of them.
2. You’re really good at arguing for your limitations. There’s always a reason why you can’t do something or be someone. It’s got to stop. Never mind what happened in the past. Today is a new day. This minute is a new minute. You don’t have to let the past dictate the present.
3. You’ve got into the habit of always expecting the worst case scenario. Why assume the worst? Since it hasn’t happened yet you might as well assume whatever it is you want and who knows…you might just get it.
4. Far too often you play small in order to make someone else feel better about who they are. That’s not your job. We’re all imperfectly perfect and your success help everyone, your failures help no one. The greatest gift you can give another is to encourage them to reach higher for themselves and become the greatest role model you can be.
5. It’s become a habit. You allow your mind to be in control. The thing is you are not your mind…you have a mind. Just as you are not your hand…you have a hand. And if you’re not choosing the thoughts you think then your mind will choose them for you. Get a grip.
Become more aware, more responsible for your thoughts and beliefs. This will truly transform your life experiences.
6. You have a big heart and try to ‘fix’ others, when their life doesn’t seem to be so happy. Believe me I used to be you…and I learned the hard way that it can’t be done. People generally don’t need and definitely don’t want to be fixed.
You’ll find you’ll be freaking out about life much less when you accept that there’s only one master of the Universe and it’s not little old you!
7. It never occurs to you that you can celebrate yourself. You don’t even see your successes in life, let alone give them any recognition. From the small to the great. Every day acknowledge the success you had. Doesn’t matter, how big or how small, love them all.
8. Mornings always start with a rush…and you worrying. Worrying about everything ahead of you this day. Wondering if you’ll get it all done. Too often we get hung up on everything that’s hard or wrong in life.
Here’s a tip…before you get out of bed in the morning, take a moment and imagine how it feels to have a really, really great day. And then go ahead and allow it to happen.
9. You’ve fallen into the trap of being your own worst enemy. It’s easy to do. Who hasn’t heard that voice in their head telling them what they can’t do, or be. There’s no reason in the world for you to pay attention to an inner voice that can only talk to you about your flaws.
Practice having your inner voice be your own best friend, your encourager and joy bringer.
10. Stress, drama and failure overwhelm you easily. But the old adage, when life hands you a lemon make lemonade, is as true today as it was back in the day. These are your choices…continue getting stressed out when life doesn’t turn out the way you expect, or set up every event in life as an opportunity for growth.
Once you make this second choice, everything in life becomes beneficial.
11. You never see the world as it truly is, filled with wonder, magic and miracles. Instead you constantly fight the feeling of not being good enough. It’s time to envision a world where whoever you are is more than enough. The gifts and talents bestowed on you are all you’ll ever need to accomplish extraordinary things.
Final thoughts when life could be freaking you out
So open up, dear ones and begin to view your world through a different lens. Your dreams may shift and even fail, but a shift in perspective can change everything. When life is freaking you out, open yourself up to see life in a new light.
Your life has been exactly what it needed to be up until now, and it’s taken every situation and every challenge you’ve encountered to bring you to the current moment. And every moment, including when life could be freaking you out, offers a fresh start.
You have everything, and yes…that means everything…you need to succeed. Right now.
Encourage one another.
Love Elle
xox
3 Comments
Elle,
I love all your ideas but I must say that #8 is a big one for me! For years I’ve gotten up early and had a cup of coffee while the sunrises for at least 1/2 hour or 1 hour at most. It’s the best way to start my day. On the days I sleep in and feel rushed it seems I never catch up.
These are wonderful tips, Elle. I see my former self in this line as well, “You have a big heart and try to ‘fix’ others, when their life doesn’t seem to be so happy.”
The other tip that jumped out at me was the idea of waking and taking time to think about having a good day. Even lying in bed for a few moments and being grateful for what is going well is helpful for me. That helps get the day started in a positive way.
These are so on point, Elle. I’ve been learning recently how focusing on what’s wrong puts us in the “red” zone of nervous system dysregulation. We can learn how to connect with what’s right and take ourselves into the blue zone more often. But I want to acknowledge that it’s not necessarily easy for those dealing with difficult states like depression, anxiety, and a disordered nervous system. It does come down to a choice, whether to try or not, but it’s not necessarily possible to make an automatic flip.