10 Tips to Overcome Fear and Prevent Self-Sabotage

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Life getting you down a bit?  This guest post from Tess Marshall of the Bold Life might help.


[success]Self-Sabotage is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn’t happen. ~ Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby[/success]

Tess is our Encourager of the month for April and we couldn’t have chosen a more fearless encourager if we’d tried.  Tess is my go-to-gal for tips and here’s a few to help us face our fears and live life to the fullest.

I have prisms in my glasses because I see double; my eyes don’t line up correctly. Yesterday, I went to a new doctor for an eye exam because it had been a few years since I had a new prescription.

When the doctor finished, he suggested that I get eye muscle surgery. I was taken by complete surprise; I was shocked. I thought he was crazy.

I immediately said “no.” I didn’t let him explain. I didn’t ask questions. The thought of someone messing with my eyes terrified me.

Then I remembered that it had been getting increasingly difficult to drive at night. I asked him if this issue with my eyes affected my night vision. He said, “Absolutely; especially depth.”

I asked him if this had to do with aging. He replied, “Less than one percent.” I loved that answer!

I told the doctor that I didn’t have a big social life and I really don’t need to drive at night. The doctor’s reply to that was, “You seem like a fun person. Aren’t you a little young to give up night driving?”

I replied, “If I really want to go somewhere, I know that Hubs will chauffeur me.” I was totally unaware of how silly I sounded. Imagine that happening for the next 30 years!

I got very little sleep that night. I was imagining how my life would unfold if I didn’t get the operation.

Just imagine.

Imagine not being able to drive to a friend’s house or to watch a sunset.

Imagine not being able to attend a concert or rent a car after a late flight.

Imagine the inconvenience of having to rely on others to cater to me for the rest of my life!

The following morning I woke up and announced that I would get the surgery. Self-imprisonment is not for me.

We often stop ourselves because we aren’t willing to take the action we need to make a change. We simply refuse to move forward.

It took less than fourteen hours for me to get through my fear. I’m excited about the successful outcome in advance.

After the surgery, I’m going to plan a late night road trip to Bisbee, Arizona to celebrate. Bisbee is an old mining town that is now an artist’s community.

Bring on the adventure. Bring on the magic. I’m ready.


 10 Tips to Get Out of Your Own Way

 Embrace your physical health.

We often neglect our health out of fear. Don’t allow it to stop you from doing what’s right. If you need a physical exam, get one. If you need to lose weight, do it. If you sense there is something wrong, there probably is. Take immediate action and get on with your one wild and precious life.

Take responsibility.

Decide to be mentally and emotionally healthy. Do what you need to do. If you are stuck and need help, reach out. Hire a coach, see a therapist or get a mentor. Act on the direction and advice you receive.

Knowledge is power.

Learn everything you can about your problem and desired result. If you’re unsure of what you need to do next, research, read, watch videos and speak with other experts. Ask for guidance. Don’t second guess yourself; make informed decisions.

Don’t wait for the right time.

Don’t drag your feet. Do what you can now. Focus on the moment. Stop trying to ignore or deny what needs to happen. Begin where you are with what you have, today. Not tomorrow. Learn to trust the process.

Weaken your fear.

Learn deep breathing techniques, progressive muscle relaxation, The Sedona Method, Emotional Freedom Technique, Morita Therapy or The Work.

When practiced regularly, any of these methods will help you to overcome any fear or anxiety. They are life changing.

Rise higher.

Stop participating in what drags you down. Let go of the crazy makers in your life. Get enough sleep. Get organized. Get out of debt.  Break out of the routines that suck your spirit dry. Create positive life-long habits. Your choices will determine how far you can climb.

Stress less.

Live a simple life. Give up overindulgence in anything. Spend less, save more.  Rush less, breathe more. Do less, relax more. Expect less, share more.

Count your blessings.

Let go of complaining. Everyone has problems. You weren’t singled out. Be grateful for your situation and the strength to move through it. Be grateful for the love of your family and friends. A life of gratitude and appreciation bring a sense of peace and well-being that can’t be shaken.

Choose to be brave.

Learn to live on the edge. Do what scares you. Life doesn’t come with guarantees. I want my next 30 years to be my best: incredible, full of risks and excitement. Don’t you?

 Have a vision.

Someone asked me to choose three words for the next quarter of the year. I chose four: dream, plan, create and execute.

I know what I want and where I’m going. I know what I have to do to make it happen. My vision doesn’t include fear of the unknown. My future is simply beautiful and bright.

What action are you resisting? What steps do you need to take? How will you imprison yourself if you don’t get over your fear?

Great question from Tess.  We’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

Let’s keep encouraging one another in the best way we know how.

Love Elle


Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. You can also find her on Healthy Natural Oils her new website for helping you get started with essential oils for more natural health, well-being happiness and success in your life!

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