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Why Don't MY Dreams Come True?

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The power to move the world is in your subconscious mind. ~ William James

This a two part series on how we absolutely CAN and should be having our dreams come true. 

Why don’t your dreams come true, when the truth about you is that you’re unstoppable.  Yes, I do mean you.  You are connected to the pure creative consciousness of the universe, you are one with it…no exceptions.

And since the very same power and consciousness that created the universe lives in you, you absolutely can live your ideal life once you grasp that the cause of all lack doesn’t lie in the world around you, but the world within.

You have a source of incredible power within, the same power that causes flowers to bloom and moves the world. How can you not live the life you dream of?

Each and everyone of us has unlimited power at our disposal, and the only reason we’re not leading a life of our choosing is because of our limited awareness of how we can deliberately operate this power.

This is a post about consciousness, and how consciousness creates reality.

I heard from Ava…I’m well educated, well qualified for my job but I keep finding myself working for jerks and have to start over. Why does the same stuff keep happening to me?

And Jeannie… It seems as if I have the same relationship over and over.  Everything starts off great then gradually he turns into the biggest jackass and I don’t understand why I didn’t see it coming.  Why does the same stuff keep happening to me?

Part one – the why of it all

We need to understand the whys and wherefores of consciousness, because until we understand what gets in the way of our dreams coming true, we won’t begin to consciously operate our most phenomenal power.  We need to create a working relationship with this inner mysterious aspect of ourselves.  It’s truly our greatest ally in supporting us in living the life we’ve always dreamed of.

No doubt some things in your life are great and you want to maintain them.

However, some things in your life might stink. Or at the very least you’re not getting what you desire in all areas.

You might even understand why your life stinks.  But that doesn’t help much, does it?  It still stinks.

What’s going on?

Revisiting the stickman

Remember the stickman…I wrote about him here…and now it’s time to revisit the little fella with the ginormous head.

stickman 3

There’s two parts to our mind, the conscious and subconscious: both part of the same universal stream of consciousness but with different jobs. When these two individual, but connected, aspects of us work together in harmony we will have all the love, joy, happiness, peace and success our little hearts desire.

So how does it all work?

Conscious Mind

The conscious mind is the part that thinks, that chooses or accepts a thought or idea.  It’s truly your thinking mind holding your wishes and desires and goals. It keeps us on track. The conscious mind is designed to review the past, solve problems, make sense out of what’s happening around us.

Our conscious mind allows us to discriminate, to say yay or nay to ideas that don’t serve us.

You can pick up a great self improvement book, for example, and your conscious mind can learn from it. You might be all excited to put these new ideas into practice and have more lovely things in your world.

But things remain the same…even though you understood exactly what the book was telling you. So what’s up?

If our conscious and subconscious minds aren’t on the same page, nothing changes.

Most of us think we’re running our lives with our conscious mind, but the truth of the matter is that it’s rarely in charge.

We say what we want out of life. I want to be healthy, have a great relationship, be successful, run a marathon, live and work abroad, and having said that we assume we’re running our life from these ideas.

Not so fast. We need to impress these ideas onto our subconscious, the place where all our old habits live, and the place where our new habits can create a new reality.

Until our new thoughts are accepted by our subconscious, they’re just great ideas. And unless they’re accepted by the subconscious, our two minds simply aren’t working as a team.

Our subconscious mind keeps on churning out all those old, probably less than wonderful habitual thoughts that continually prove to us that we don’t have what it takes, that living the best and greatest life might work for others but not for us. Or whatever other beliefs we’ve got that are creating our current reality.

I heard recently that our subconscious is a million times more powerful than our conscious mind.  In which case we really do need to get a handle on this little powerhouse.  We’ve seen what happens when our conscious and subconscious aren’t in accord and it certainly isn’t the life of our dreams.

Time to get a little harmony going.

Subconscious Mind

The subconscious part of us is our habit mind.  And it’s pretty much like a dvr, only instead of holding your favourite show it’s holding all the thoughts and ideas and feelings that you’ve accepted as true, as real. Even though some of them might stink and you didn’t even know they were being recorded.

Heck you probably don’t even know what half of them are. Until you look at your life.

Take a good look, because your life experiences are a playback of all that’s been recorded on your subconscious device. And it’ll continue to play the same old stuff over and over for the rest of your life unless you alter the recordings.

If our habit mind (subconscious) is in charge, and it most certainly is, then the question is where did we get those fundamental programmes from which we operate? Knowing this goes a long way to helping us create new ones. In fact if we’re going to create our very own programmes, not keep running those we’ve inherited from other people, it’s essential we know how it all works.

For the first six years of our life we are just little recording devices and all the things we record head straight to our subconscious and Bob’s your uncle, we’ve acquired our beliefs and attitudes to life. None of which were chosen by us because we didn’t have our conscious mind operating to help us decide what ideas we were going to entertain and what ideas were heading straight to the dumpster.

At that point in our life, we weren’t even operating our conscious mind at all. We lived in a theta state, a sort of hypnotic trance.

But all those early recordings have now become our fundamental beliefs. And they’re going to consistently get in the way of how we want to live today.

Okay Ava and Jeannie, now you know why you keep getting a jerk for a boss and a jackass for a partner. You’ve been programmed with beliefs that draw those experiences to you. Wanting it to be different can’t change anything…you need some new input on your recording device.

A closer look at programming

An easy way to understand how we’re programmed is to think back and remember our early years at school. We all had to learn the multiplication table. Remember? And now it’s deeply embedded in your subconscious. Some might call it imprinting or impressing the subconscious with information. Repetition is the key here.

We were focused and disciplined, because we had to be…we wanted to please…we didn’t want to be different from our buddies.  And even though we had an instructor, we were the ones who had to do it.  So it’s not anything new. You’ve done this before.

And if I asked you what seven times seven was, you know the answer straight away.  How come?  Because we had to repeat the blooming thing countless, boring times.  But it worked, didn’t it?  Repetition, repetition, repetition.

If I said what’s thirteen times eleven you wouldn’t have such an automatic response, because let’s face it, we stopped at twelve.  Well they did at my school.

Too bad they didn’t think about repeating empowering beliefs to us kids.  And too bad that so many of us had disempowering beliefs impressed upon our little subconscious minds before we were even able to discriminate or choose what we wanted to believe.

Bottom line

We haven’t realized all our dreams, because we’re programmed with stuff that’s not in alignment with them.

We are all living in a vast ocean of infinite riches with limitless power and wisdom at our disposal and it’s time to purposefully direct this miracle power of mind. Tune in for some simple bottom line ways to begin the process in the next post.

Meanwhile in the comments below share what subconscious beliefs you have that may be getting in the way of your success, happiness and joy.

As always, thank you for reading, sharing and contributing. I’m looking forward to hearing what you have to say on this topic as it’s a really important one!

Encourage one another.

Elle

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ElleSommer

ElleSommer

Elle is the founder of Reflecting A Life which has recently evolved into Live Purposefully Now. She is living proof you can have the life you want! In the midst of great loss, many setbacks, roadblocks and challenges, she learned how to use age-old principles to manifest a wonderful life, including homes in Hawaii, and New York; cruises to Europe; financial freedom and BEST of all new love and great spiritual growth. You can use these same principles in your life and create magical momentum. Join her…but be careful, you might for ever change your life.

34 comments… add one

  • Cathy Taughinbaugh
    Twitter:
    September 30, 2013, 12:07 am Reply

    Elle, I love your bottom line in this post – “We haven’t realized all our dreams, because we’re programmed with stuff that’s not in alignment with them.” Your advice to take some time to understand our subconscious is so needed and can make the changes in our life that we are looking for. Thanks for an insightful post!
    Cathy Taughinbaugh recently posted…5 Ways to Help Your Family Begin the Recovery ProcessMy Profile

    • Elle
      September 30, 2013, 7:49 am Reply

      Thanks Cathy…it’s so odd isn’t it that our life is being run on someone else’s beliefs about the world…and looking around at parents with small children you can see this happening…not deliberately, or it might be that they’d endow the little sprites with lots of affirmations about their creative brilliance…but more by default. Our children can be the recipients of gifts we, as parents, wouldn’t truly want them to have and hopefully as more of us on the plant become more aware the cycle will change.

      Ultimately we all did the best we could with what we knew then…but now…I have high hopes…that more of the children in our world are experiencing uplifting, empowering ideas that nourish the soul.

  • A.
    September 30, 2013, 6:54 am Reply

    Hi Elle! This was wonderful, as always! My husband always reminds me to blame my problems on my parents for raising me in such a tough, critical, fear-driven, confining, overprotective, smothering kind of way that I had trouble making my own decisions, and not be so hard on myself. Gurus say we are not our thoughts or beliefs, but those of others and society’s. We are pure happiness and light, but those beliefs put a shroud on the light, keeping it from shining. This is both good to be aware of, yet so sad. It makes me cry that the life I am leading is a distortion of someone else’s twisted beliefs (I am still working on this). Breaking frames of mind takes strength, persistence, determination, awareness. It is possible, but takes a lot of work, Elle.

    Of course, let us not forget that life takes us to where we need to be. So, many adventures just came to me because I had put them in my subconscious. Maybe I should not cry over it anymore and hurt my heart, but keep dreaming of the best life and it will slowly manifest?

    • Elle
      September 30, 2013, 7:43 am Reply

      Hi A – you are so very aware of what’s happening in your world that it’s just a short stop from there to being soooo much more in alignment with who you truly are, an amazing creative being. I hear what you say about it taking a lot of work…but this is where perspective comes into play, we can choose to see it as a lot of work, or choose to see that we have all the focus and persistence that we need, and we do. And then to each day be grateful for that step or two that we took that day towards our best life (so far).

      I find that if I simply choose to look for joy in my day, not only do more thinks to be joyful show up (imagine that) but that at the end of each day I feel pretty great.

      As always A – your comments are insightful and truly helpful for us all…I’m grateful to you for taking the time to participate. :-)
      Elle recently posted…Why Don’t MY Dreams Come True? My Profile

  • Debi
    September 30, 2013, 10:50 am Reply

    Elle … thanks for this post. It’s being forwarded to a number of folks in my life who just don’t “get it” despite my attempts to explain. If this doesn’t get their attention, I have a feeling that nothing will.
    Debi recently posted…Changing OthersMy Profile

    • Elle
      September 30, 2013, 3:04 pm Reply

      Thanks for stopping by Debi – and this is a pretty huge thing to get – especially when first starting out on the deliberate road to expansion and greater expression. It’s good to know you think this might be helpful…I was trying to keep it as effortless as possible…because I know the greater awareness of how it all works makes it so much easier to begin to operate the system on our behalf, instead of against us. Do you see people in your world unconsciously using it to take them in the opposite direction of where they want to go?

      • Debi
        September 30, 2013, 3:31 pm Reply

        Oh, most definitely see people who are being taken in the opposite direction of their hopes and dreams simply because they don’t know or refuse to understand where their thoughts take them. Dr. Caroline Leaf has a couple of good books out about the brain and the neurological pathways our thoughts create. Was also recently led to a book calls The Biology of Belief written by a man who taught at Ivy League schools and has researched how our beliefs take us places. It’s frustrating that hundreds of years ago, people knew and understood and yet many of us today have no clue.
        Debi recently posted…Changing OthersMy Profile

        • Elle
          September 30, 2013, 3:45 pm Reply

          Love Bruce Lipton’s work too Debi – his work on epigenetics is fabulous telling us what some of us already knew, because we’ve been studying this for donkey’s years, that our genes are influenced by our inner environment. Haven’t heard of Caroline Leaf, but thanks for the heads up will check her out. :-)

  • Kathy Gottberg
    September 30, 2013, 5:07 pm Reply

    Ahhhhh… you are so-o-o-o right on this one Elle! Consciousness is EVERYTHING! It’s a little complicated because we aren’t used to thinking about it from this perspective but you’ve done a really nice job of explaining it so that most people can get a glimpse of it. My latest blog post points out that without the right consciousness a person will likely never manage to feel completely rich, safe or content…. because as you say, consciousness is behind everything and until it is in alignment with a person’s dreams and desires they’ll never manager to manifest what they says they want. While learning and changing our consciousness doesn’t happen in a day or week…and I work on my every single day…it can and will change and help to create the kind of life that we long for. Thanks again!
    Kathy Gottberg recently posted…How To Feel Rich, Safe & Content—No Matter WhatMy Profile

    • Elle
      September 30, 2013, 5:13 pm Reply

      It is a little complicated Kathy…and I’m glad that you think I managed to make it a little more understandable. It’s a big subject to tackle as you know, but it’s the entire basis for creation. Consciousness really is the only reality as Neville says.

      I know it is an every day thing for myself too and even though I’ve been studying and practicing for a number of years there are times when I can get caught up in some outer reality. The good news is that I catch myself a lot quicker than before. :-)

      Do you have any particular methods you use in your daily practice Cathy?

      • Kathy Gottberg
        September 30, 2013, 5:38 pm Reply

        I think my practice of daily prayer/meditation is critical….every single day I remind myself and connect with Source Consciousness…and then every single day I usually get caught up in stuff and have to be reminded the very next day. :-) But honestly, I have been at this for “only” about 25+ years and the biggest help is that daily/prayer time…and I’m talking EVERY day….my husband and I do it at the same time and that helps us…it takes time though to make big shifts though…especially when you are digging really really deep (as I’m sure you know) …the challenge is to not let appearances fool you and make you think it’s NOT working. And like you say, even when you forget you’ll forget for a much shorter time. My husband and I grew our consciousness together (which helps if you have a close friend) and my life is now a reflection of so much GOOD! :-)
        Kathy Gottberg recently posted…How To Feel Rich, Safe & Content—No Matter WhatMy Profile

        • Elle
          September 30, 2013, 7:14 pm Reply

          That is fantastic Kathy. I understand every single word you say…heck I’ve lived them! It’s absolutely amazing to have a partner who’s as interested in growth and expansion to the same degree. You are reflecting my life back to me here…since hubby and I practice together as well as separately.

          Thank you so sincerely for sharing with us…I know for certain you’ve given a lot of others some wonderful practices to use, should they choose. :-)

  • richmiraclefiles
    Twitter:
    October 1, 2013, 10:15 am Reply

    Hi Elle ,

    I couldnt have agreed more with you.The only one thing that we have total control over is our thought.If you try, that is.Otherwise your thinking process is a runaway freight train that drags you along its own route of whims.

    Progress Is Shaped By Mental Prowess
    A vast majority of thinkers have come along and asked us all to pay attention to our thinking ,whether it was the Kindly Buddha or Christ ,or the huge crowd of New Agers. Thought is indeed nuclear in it’s impact on life,and on the world.Yet we start to pay attention to it’s enormous power only when we face crisis,or not at all,even then.
    Thanks
    Mona

    • A.
      October 1, 2013, 10:42 am Reply

      Hey Mona,

      Just yesterday morning I was reading a passage by a guru in which he stated that the calamities of humans, including natural ones, are the direct result of their fears, anxieties and such modes of thinking they put out there. This is why those you have mentioned, Buddha and Christ, said to chill. It does a world good.

      • Elle
        October 1, 2013, 12:15 pm Reply

        Nicely put A. :-)

    • Elle
      October 1, 2013, 12:15 pm Reply

      So true Mona, thoughts are real forces in our world and when they’re united with strong feelings they become an even more powerful magnet. I like the connection to those who wielded these thought forces in ways that benefit us all, even today.

      Do you have any daily practices to support you in keeping your thoughts heading a direction that draws to you the results you’d like to see?

      It’s always interesting to see what is working in someone’s life and sharing our knowledge can be a powerful aid for others in our world. :-)

  • Lori Gosselin
    October 1, 2013, 12:52 pm Reply

    Hi Elle,
    I was introduced to the power of our subconscious minds through a book by Dr Joseph Murphy years ago.You are so right – it’s one thing to know what to do and why it works and another thing altogether to know why we don’t do what we need to do to get what we want. I don’t think you can break a habit, for instance, until you understand why you have the habit in the first place. That understanding does much to start the shift.
    :-)
    Lori
    Lori Gosselin recently posted…Are You Making Assumptions?My Profile

    • Elle
      October 1, 2013, 3:38 pm Reply

      Hi Lori…Joseph Murphy’s book is fabulous. Did you know that he and Neville were students together back in the 1940’s? They both wrote in entirely different ways about the same topic, the creative power within all of us.

      Do you think that even if we’re not exactly certain of the habits of belief that hold us back, that by looking at our life, there are certain patterns we can see that allow us to begin to reprogramme our habit mind?

      • Lori Gosselin
        October 1, 2013, 3:52 pm Reply

        Yes, we can reprogram the mind once we look at our lives and see the habits of belief. This is the cognitive behavioral model. I myself subscribe to the psychodynamic model which looks for the root of the problem. In my life I’ve had more success when I got to the root of the problem. (I wrote about this in my book The Happy Place!)
        Lori
        Lori Gosselin recently posted…Are You Making Assumptions?My Profile

        • Elle
          October 1, 2013, 4:21 pm Reply

          I think that’s wonderful Lori. I’m a firm believer in choosing practices that resonate with us and speaking for myself, at different points in my journey it’s meant my practices have changed and shifted. :-)

  • A.
    October 1, 2013, 1:21 pm Reply

    You know, Elle, this is THE topic. It is fantastic. I just looked into a very romantic love story, Somewhere in Time, and the method the male protagonist uses to go back to meet his beloved in the flesh is the use of his subconscious mind. Like meditation? This is what the yogis do. They travel using the mind. Time travel is mind travel, of sorts. Hmmmm, this is worth discussing more!

    • A.
      October 1, 2013, 1:27 pm Reply

      If this is so, then the answers are indeed within. It seems to me we are sort of wasting the mind in this civilization we live in, but that is what we have to deal with now. But the power within, is that what they mean? The power to go beyond what is, transcends everything, even the made up time of humans? Is that it? The power within? wow!

      • Elle
        October 1, 2013, 3:47 pm Reply

        Over the centuries, in dozens of ways I think we’ve been told the power is within A. Maybe we haven’t believed it, or couldn’t imagine it as possible and yet our entire live is built by and through our inner creative power for good or ill, consciously or unconsciously, doesn’t really matter…it’s a real force in our life and now that many of us are awakening to the possibility that it’s up to us, I think as we expand ourselves and our consciousness, we’re helping to do the same for others. Isn’t that great? :D

    • Elle
      October 1, 2013, 3:40 pm Reply

      Have you read The Biography of a Yogi A? You probably have. I love the story of Yogananda’s teachers who could be in two places at once…not exactly time travel in the sense you’re talking about, but I tell you what…I’d love to be able to do it. I know Neville tells of his ability to do this and some of his students experienced the same thing. All I can say is if they can do it, so can we all. Pretty cool wouldn’t you say? :D

      • A.
        October 1, 2013, 4:06 pm Reply

        My favorite book, Elle! That is a transformational, transcendental, you name it, it is it, book! So is the Magus of Strovolos, which speaks of Daskalos Stathis who was also a mystic. His students can do all those things.

        Yes, we all can do it, but some of us still have to let go of our crap and that which was inflicted upon us. It is a process, but totally possible! It is a lonely road, for now at least because most people are not awakened, but the good thing is you tend to find others like you along the way. Thanks for this, Elle!

  • Vidya Sury
    Twitter:
    October 2, 2013, 2:31 am Reply

    Mr Henry Ford comes to mind. “Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.” My Grandmother also comes to mind :-) If we don’t believe in ourselves and our dreams, who will? That inner strength and self-confidence fuels our efforts. I’ve swung both sides of this – being too lazy to push myself and then running after something relentlessly and getting it. Experience is a great teacher, but often, life’s lessons are ignored by most. We don’t live in a perfect world. But I know we can, because we create the world we want to live in.
    Looking forward to part II, Elle.
    Vidya Sury recently posted…More Than EnoughMy Profile

    • Elle
      October 2, 2013, 5:24 pm Reply

      Isn’t that a true statement Vidya…haven’t you noticed that as you practice living in an ever higher vibrational state that life is becoming more ‘perfect’ as defined by us. I find myself saying to no-one in particular throughout my day…I love my life…it’s true and it also happens to draw more things to love. I’m liking this Vidya.

  • A.
    October 2, 2013, 4:04 pm Reply

    Hey Elle,

    I am reading Ananda’s book Where there is Light, in which he states that the nervous system was not made to withstand the destructive force of intense emotion or persistent negative thoughts and feelings. Well, this explains everything. But how can we remedy this Elle? How can we make our mind work for us, instead of letting it get to us. Easy short-term, tough for the long-term.

    • Elle
      October 2, 2013, 5:22 pm Reply

      I think it’s all about being aware and practicing new habits A. I’ve reached a stage in my practice where I frequently turn a negative thought around almost as soon as I have it. Not to say there aren’t still a lot that get through but what helps with that is deciding every day to look for joy…I find keeping my moods high encourages more high vibrational things to join in the party, including higher vibrational thoughts.

      Haven’t read that book A…but it sounds like one to put on my list. What interesting questions you have…love that about you. :-)

  • richmiraclefiles
    Twitter:
    October 4, 2013, 8:50 am Reply

    Hi Elle,
    It’s good to see so much discussion generated over a topic that is as common as it is dear to a lot of us.The fact is that we all simply want to be happy and yet we tie ourselves in knots over the very same thing that we want so dearly;happiness.
    Essentially happiness is not an outcome of reaching our goals or dreams.It is in fact the basis of accomplishing our goals.If you are happy it is highly likely that you will be more successful in your endeavours than somebody who is grumpy and cribbing.
    Ah! You asked me about any daily practices I follow about channelizing my thoughts in a specific direction.I do in fact.I meditate daily.I do pranayam daily.I do yoga daily.I pray daily.I write down flashes of inspiration daily,or whenever they arise.I read a lot of inspirational literature,simply because i love to.Favourites are Deepak Chopra,Napoleaon Hill,Clement Stone,Norman V Peale,Rhonda Byrne,Marci Shimoff,Jerry & Esther Hicks,Robert kiyosaki,Richard Bach,Wallace D Wattles,Charles Haanel,James Allen.Then,Of course my spiritual guru.
    Pardon me for covering so much personal territory,but i thought you might be interested.Thanks for the opportunity.
    Thanks
    Mona
    richmiraclefiles recently posted…QUESTION YOUR SENSE OF FORGIVENESS;IS IT EGOISTIC?My Profile

    • Elle
      October 4, 2013, 2:00 pm Reply

      Yes it’s great to have such super insights and perspectives, we can all add to each other having more and more wonderful experiences in life as we share our points of view. What great practices you have Mona…and the one that I fall short on is making a note of those inspirational flashes that we all have throughout our day. And then, guess what, they disappear into the ether. I need to imagine I’m really great at this.

      It sounds as though you immerse yourself in inspiring thoughts from the many that have come before…I too think it’s essential to feed ourselves on the kind of diet that leads us to greater expansion of our mind and spirit. And now I’m curious about your spiritual guru?

      It’s wonderful that you share your insights and experiences so willingly Mona…you can never say too much here. :D

  • Poppy
    November 15, 2013, 4:05 pm Reply

    You explained this in such a way that it totally made sense. I can’t wait to read your next post so I can figure out what to do about it because I’m ready to realize my dreams.
    Poppy recently posted…Delicious Chocolate Peanut Butter Protein Bar RecipeMy Profile

    • Elle
      November 15, 2013, 4:47 pm Reply

      Hi Poppy and thanks for taking the time to comment. We’re all so busy packing this and that into our lives so the comments I get become doubly precious. :-)

  • Cher
    Twitter:
    November 15, 2013, 7:49 pm Reply

    I always love reading your posts!
    Cher recently posted…Build a Genevieve BuffetMy Profile

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