6 Things to Bear in Mind When You Don’t Feel Good Enough

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man-not-good-enough

Every battle is won before it’s ever fought. ~ Sun Tzu

Have you noticed that some people seem to have it all together?

It looks as though they took all the right paths, won the gold prize and every decision they make is leading them to some future great destiny.

But somehow, this isn’t happening for you. 

Don’t feel bad about it. There is something you can do other than continuing to live a tentative, hesitant life.

If you don’t like the results you’re getting, if you simply don’t feel good enough and everything’s going wrong, remember every morning, when you wake up, you get another chance to make things right.

You deserve to live a life where worry isn’t your constant companion. A life where even if some people are critical and less than kind it’s not going to bother you because you understand that you, and only you, control the way you feel.

When you’re not feeling good enough, if your energy has tanked and things aren’t working out, you’re not alone. Fear and insecurity plague even the most successful among us. If you’re ready to set yourself free from things that hamper you and stop you from reaching your true potential bear these things in mind:

1.Perfectionism causes paralysis

Life can be messy and complicated and scary and whilst others might seem to be free of the doubts and fears and worries that you have…they’re really not.

Whether they’re entrepreneurs, writers, musicians or anything else, they have the same doubts and insecurities as you.

When you’re feeling not good enough, the best thing you can do is learn to relax and treat yourself like a human being put on this planet to thrive and enjoy living.  

Bear in mind, success is seen on the outside, but created on the inside. Never undervalue who you are and the power to succeed that lives within.

Don’t allow yourself to get stuck in ‘perfection paralysis’. No one is looking for perfection they’re looking for value. And the best value you can offer is you. Authentically wonderful, messy, scared, imperfectly perfect you.

2.You’re a natural

When you look at yourself can you see a natural? Someone who accomplishes goals easily?

You should.

From the day you were born you began to accomplish goals. You learned to sit up, to walk, to talk and do all kinds of things that became an unconscious part of your daily life.

Nothing’s changed.

Except the way you see yourself.  Stop looking at all the problems in life or the difficulties you face. Stop wondering if you’re good enough, if you have enough to offer.

You do.

Help yourself by putting your mental energy to better use.

Remember  your past accomplishments, the successes and events that brought joy and happiness into your life.  You’ll begin to notice more and more opportunities surrounding you.

Pay more attention to the positive circumstances in life and do what many successful people do…keep a win list. Record your accomplishments, big and small and read them often.

3.Release yourself from the prison of not feeling good enough

No-one can fix your life. No-one can take away your pain and heartache. No-one can improve anything in your life. Only you.

Only you can choose to change what needs to be changed. Only you can decide to do and be the very best you possible. Only you can choose to think positively and move towards your best life. Only you can choose to say’ I’m going to stop telling myself the same old stories that keep me locked in the same old prison’.

Don’t let yourself be persuaded that you’re not good enough and you don’t have what it takes. Ignore the chattering of those who would hold you back. You can develop the will and determinedly focus on your objective until you reach your goal.

You have an awesome power that will get you through every challenge that life throws your way. The power to choose.

4.Make good use of tiny choices

Your destiny doesn’t lie in the stars. It’s not out there. It’s in you. Don’t wait for it to arrive, you’re in charge of your future.

Your destiny lies in your willingness to persist, in every little choice you make, in every step you take.

Remember it’s not what you do every now and then that makes the difference, it’s what you do every day. One tiny choice today might not make a big difference to your tomorrow, but one tiny choice every day for a year can change your life.

If you were to choose an apple over a chocolate bar every day for a year…you’d  see the difference. If you were to choose one little act of organization over procrastination every day for a year…you’d see the difference.

No matter what happens each day, no matter how far away your success seems, never stop expecting, never stop believing that you will make it.

5.Superman isn’t real

The most successful among us aren’t super heroes, donning their capes and dashing off to their next successful mission. They’re human beings like you and me with misgivings and doubts and frailties. And failures. Many, many failures.

Don’t let your misgivings transform you into something less than you are. Don’t let your fear of failure get in the way of your passion for life.

You might not be able to do the same things as someone else, because you’re gifted in a unique, special way.  You have a deep reservoir of talents and abilities and your job is to discover your own special light and manifest your potential, not be a pale imitation of others.

Never let insecurity run your life. Extend as much love, kindness and care to you as you would to others else. You, as much as anyone deserve to live a life of happiness and fulfillment.

The world be a sadder place if the only birds that sang were the ones with the loudest voice.

 6.Spiritually speaking

We forget we live in two worlds simultaneously, the inner world of thoughts and feelings and the outer physical world, so we invest the outer world with an authority it does not have. 

Stop paying attention to what’s happened in the past.  Your present circumstances have absolutely no power other than that which you give them. 

Remember, ‘Every battle is won before it’s ever fought.’  Feeling you’re not good enough doesn’t mean it’s true. Don’t short change yourself with thoughts about who you’re not. A strong, positive mental attitude can create miracles.

Your life is about breaking out of your limited ideas and developing your gifts and talents to live YOUR greatest life. You can reignite your fire and joy for living any time you decide to do so, because every time you don’t feel good enough, you give your power and passion away.

Reclaim it and you’ll discover you’re more than just good enough. You’re awesome.

Thank you so very much for reading and sharing your genius in the comments below. Your kindness and insight warms the cockles of my heart. 🙂 I truly appreciate how you help to make this corner of the internet an encouraging place.

Encourage one another.

Love Elle
xoxo

P.S. If you find this week’s post encouraging or motivating, please forward it to a friend, colleague or client you think it could help. There’s always someone who needs that little extra love and support.

 

ElleSommer
Elle Sommer is the author and founder of Live Purposefully Now, a website focused on sharing the insights and ancient wisdom that have collectively changed her life, in the desire to make a meaningful impact on yours. Trained at Coach U and having completed a year long training with Bob Proctor, her mission is to encourage and inspire others to build the business, relationships and life they want. Get your free instant access to Success Simplified ebook and get the tips, techniques and secrets of successfully living the life you want.

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49 Comments

  • I definitely have to watch out for perfectionism, Elle! Thanks for the reminder. I love this idea of being a “natural” from birth! How ingenious. That can really give us the confidence we need and help us drop all our negative thinking. Thanks for that inspiration.

    • Hello Sandra, I’m in the same boat as you re perfectionism so I know very well of what I speak! It’s getting easier though, the more I develop myself and I’d put money on it that it’s the same for you. 🙂

  • Yay! This is a great manifesto Elle. I so agree with you – and I think it’s amazing when we do show our vulnerabilities or our fragility the response we get. I remember very clearly one of my team members telling me many years ago that it would be nice if I shared with them some of the things I did wrong, because I seemed so perfect – I was shocked! I knew I screwed up all the time. So being perfectly imperfect can also mean that we set others’ minds at ease as well. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • Hello Ellen, it’s amazing how people see us, versus how we see ourselves isn’t it. Now I’m curious, did you share your screw ups with your team members?

      That’s an interesting point you make about putting others at ease. 🙂

      • Yes, I was much more open and vulnerable about my mistakes both at the time, but also as I had grown up through the organisation as a consultant like them. Nowadays having read Brene Brown’s work, I can understand the power of that much more than I did at the time.

  • Hi Elle! The boys are off for the summer so I had time to swing by and find that everything has changed. This is very timely. It seems like every time major shifts happen in our lives there we are saying why something isn’t right or good enough. Lots of love.

    • Hello Julie, how lovely to ‘see’ you. I’ve missed your cheery and wise voice. You and I are great believes in change being good (sometimes eventually). I’ll be stopping by to see what you’re up to these days now you’re back. Have a happy summer with the boys. 🙂

  • Elle, I love this because I lived in the “not good enough” prison for decades. No fun and it leads to a life of unhappiness and disappointment.

    When I finally learned that ‘Every battle is won before it’s ever fought’ my life turned around. We have to win in our heads first. It makes all the difference. I am no where near perfect (never was, but tried to be) but I’m happy.

    Thanks for the wonderful reminder and tips.

    • Hello Debbie – I’m with you girl…tried to be perfect too, but it’s such an effort and so wearying. Isn’t it liberating to say fuhgeddaboudit – or words to that effect. Even though the gotta be perfect never goes away entirely for me. Now I can laugh at myself for the ridiculousness of it! 🙂

  • Another excellent article Elle, definitely in the uppermost tier of all time, thank you !
    You deliver such wonderful reminders in the most beautiful light.
    Such as ” the best value you can offer is you”, WOW, ” seen on the outside, created on the inside”, YES, ” making good use of tiny choices”, Powerful Stuff !
    Awakening our awareness to the truth that the real power is within all of us and that we are all uniquely amazing and spectacular !
    Write on, Elle !

    • Hello Joseph, it’s always lovely to ‘see’ you. I’m glad you got so much out of this article…I know I really enjoyed writing it. It’s always a great reminder to myself…which I need to stay on track. 🙂

  • I love this line, Elle, “Remember it’s not what you do every now and then that makes the difference, it’s what you do every day.” Change does take time and I know I need to keep myself motivated and rewarded when I’m trying to change something in my life. So often we are good or maybe even great at when we are doing, but the self doubt can get in the way and hold us back. Thanks for the encouragement!

    • Hello Cathy, As I said to Joseph, much of what I write is a reminder to me! I have to set myself up for the day, choosing one little extra thing to do that will support me in reaching my goal for the week, or month, or year. And you are so right about the rewards as a way to stay motivated. That’s how I gave up smoking many, many years ago. It definitely works. 🙂

    • Hello Isaac, welcome to the community and thanks for taking the time to say a few words. Hope to see you back again next week! 🙂

  • Hello Elle! Nicely written. I agree with you regarding perfectionism. That really delays taking action. We don’t do anything to move forward, and that means total paralysis as you said. Jack Canfield talks a lot about the Mirror Exercise, to help us remove the “negative scenarios” we have in our heads 24 hours a day! I guess, living in the present moment is a great “therapy”!

    • Hello Valerie, how lovely to see you here. I think you’re right about living in the present moment. I’ll have to check out Jack Canfield’s mirror exercise – I’m not sure I’ve heard of that before. It sounds intriguing. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. 🙂

  • Ah yes, perfectionism, not feeling good enough, thinking that others have it all together where you don’t…it’s all part of the human experience isn’t it? I’m on a personal mission to make sure that everybody sees that, that indeed everybody is an ‘authentically wonderful, messy, scared, imperfectly perfect you’ (and that that’s totally okay).

    Thanks for the lovely words that help reminds us that we’re all in this together!

    • Hello Linda, we are most definitely in this together aren’t we? I think you’re on a great path in encouraging others to be more accepting and loving towards themselves. Sometimes it’s easier for them to believe in your belief in them than their own. And imho it doesn’t matter either way…just so long as they believe. 🙂

  • Although small changes are much more manageable than big ones, I struggle with being consistent patient enough to reach the rewards. I love your explanation. “If you were to choose an apple over a chocolate bar every day for a year…you’d see the difference. If you were to choose one little act of organization over procrastination every day for a year…you’d see the difference.” True! This will help me keep it in perspective. Thanks, Elle!

    • Hello Nicki – I know just what you mean. That consistency is so valuable on our journey…don’t think you’re on your own here…I know I have to make those deliberate choices all the time. 🙂 I’d put money on it, we’re not alone in this!

    • That’s the best laugh I’ve had today Mark. Wifi been down and first thing I see when it’s restored is your comment. Yay you bringing more sunshine into my life. 🙂

  • Hi Ellen,

    Wonderful post once again! 🙂 Thank you for the reminder that successful people are not perfect, that they have also failed once or more in their life and comparison is never a good thing. Sometimes insecurity and the thought that others are greater than you only lowers a person’s self-esteem. Thank you for another uplifting post Elle!

    • Hello Grace – looks like you’re going through the site and I’m so happy you’re finding ideas that resonate with you. And grateful too. That you take the time to stop by and share your thoughts. Every one of us has something insightful to add to the conversation. Thanks to you. :-

  • Hi Elle,

    I was drawn in with Sun Tzu’s words. And I think your viewpoint is direct and refreshing. A quick self exam shows I HAVE been looking too much for perfection, even though I think of myself as anything but pedantic. I love that you remind about value; the essence of what we bring is definitely more important than the details.

    Much to reflect on. Thank you.

    And CONGRATULATIONS on having your article selected as one of the BEST in the summer 2015 blog competition. Well done.

    Ant

    • Hello Anthony. Lovely to meet you. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave your insights and thoughts. And for the congratulations. It was the first I heard about the winners of the competition, so that was a great way to start my day!

      I read your post and was really impressed with what you had to say…I’m so glad you entered it in the competition. And many congrats on being a winner.

      I’ve had to edit my response, because I hadn’t even seen the e-mail with the winners names when I responded to you. My bad! Love Elle 🙂

  • Hi Elle,
    Your words that smacked me upside the head are “Perfectionism causes paralysis”. So many times I’ve not started something because I couldn’t decide on the perfect place to start. Talk about
    paralysis! You’ve reminded me that anyplace I start is the perfect starting point and that the
    real point is to just START, it doesn’t matter where. It’s just getting that first olive out of the jar, the rest come easy.

    • Hello Diane. You’re singing to the choir here. I totally recognize that place you speak of so eloquently. No perfect place to start, so I won’t. I’ve been there more times than you’ve had hot dinners…in fact even today, after years of awareness and practice I can still find myself going back to that place. Thankfully it doesn’t last too long…and as you say get that first olive out of the jar (love that) and before you know it you’re up and running. Nice wisdom Diane. 🙂

    • Hello Janice and thanks for stopping by and for the congratulations. For everyone who might not be aware, Boost Blog Traffic had a Summer blogging competition and I got an honourable mention for this post. For those of you who’d like to read an outstanding collection of posts from bloggers of all stripes more you can find it here. 🙂

  • Hey Elle,
    Congratulations on winning the contest. This post is really epic to me. I need to adjust my habits by this post. Anyway, thank you very much.

    • Hello Venkatesh, how lovely to meet you and thank you so much for your kind words. Isn’t it good to know we’re not in this alone? 🙂

  • What a great inspirational post this was, “I was once told that I was going above my station” I got that person out of my life quickly. You are right when you say that people that don’t support you shouldn’t be in your life, they only hold you back. Thank you for this inspirational post it has given me some hope about myself.

    Veronica

    • Hello Veronica, how nice to meet you here. Good for you dear heart, choosing the path in life that works best for you and not allowing the negativity of others to block your way. May your path be beautiful. 🙂

  • Elle,

    Crazy as it sounds I sometimes wish I was a perfectionist! I don’t see details and often miss errors. Sigh. The line I loved was about switching the apple for the chocolate bar! My issue isn’t chocolate but I’m going to try it with something else. LOVE this post!!!

    • That’s so funny Tess. But honestly as a recovering perfectionist (not always recovering) it isn’t really that great a place to live in. I think that those who jump in where angels fear to tread so to speak often turn out to be the most innovative and creative of us all, while the perfectionists among us are still dithering on the sidelines! 🙂

  • H there, I just had a baby and have been feeling very unsettled about a lot of things in my life. This came at the right time.I especially loved the bit about perfectionism.

    • Hello tabby and many congratulations. Having a new little one in your life is a wonderful blessing and a totally new life experience. Hopefully you’re taking a little time to take care of yourself too, even though I remember from my own life that this isn’t always easy! So glad this article was helpful. 🙂

  • Hi Elle, A very motivating article. I love it ! It is very timely, i really need a great boost for today and you gave it to me. Thanks so much for sharing a wonderfully inspiring post. 🙂

  • This line is so making sense “When you’re feeling not good enough, the best thing you can do is learn to relax and treat yourself like a human being put on this planet to thrive and enjoy living” nice line and very good, thank you for the piece of article

  • I am glad I opened the link and read through. I was in one of my phases of not feeling good enough. And I am not a perfectionist, and I was feeling that is maybe my draw back. Glad to hear it is some place that others want to get out from. Your post is very much like it is written for me. Thank you for being so natural!!

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